Dovina
on Song by Christof
17 Jul 2007, 3:25 PM
"elocuted bitterness" is a nice expression, but I balk at believing that anyone would think that under this circumstance. The rest is nice.
How can a sin know anything? Otherwise nice.
"As flies to wanton boys are we to the gods; they kill us for their sport". A nice reversal of Shakespeare, though I think he said it better.
1. I take it then that you don't particularly care for the entire history of English language poetry.
2. If you can't see how what you've written stands in inverse relation to that line from King Lear, whether intentional or not (it doesn't matter), then I despair.
Yesterday I officially became a Gradu-ate and the ceremony was splendid apart from a trinity of babies who managed to set up some sort of crying rota well in advance. As soon as one of the little fuckers had bawled its tonsils out another would pick up the chant with added smugness. So I must disagree that any baby speaks merely for the joy of speaking; it is more clearly for the joy of interrupting a solemn and dignified event.
Fun, I'm not sure if you have any stylistic reasons for the plethora of capitals though.
Also, your love might be deep but I don't see how that automatically makes it like drowning in the Nile. It might be like the Nile - especially if your love has crocodiles in - but it doesn't make it akin to drowning.
No! We are not gods! Did you not listen to -=Muslim=-? In order to smite, one must be able to summon up the mighty power of ~*RAMADAN*~, otherwise it is not smiting, merely spanking with panache.
this is pretty good..unfortunately once you give anything away....it's gone
I like the last stanza; the rest is a bit weak
Wow, shut up already. This drags on and on and on, with no point...
Very funny and cute. I like.
A good metaphor for something, but what? I can think of several twists. As it stands, you only describe the dying candle.
Potter is overblown! A good way to get kids to read though.
It's a funny poem, but metrically it ain't no limerick.
There are indeed, some spelling errors.
I obviously did not check it very good.
Sorry. *embaressed*
-*lindsey*
hmm.
haha.
Made me laugh.
Quite the poem.
-10-
*lindsey*
I don't quite understand it, but I definetly sense the sadness