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a prayer for grief (Free verse) by mitchski
I?m told, that grief will fade away but of it, I?ll not give a day I have known her close and long a valiant friend since I could speak but for another sighting of your face I?d give but what today I greet Humble from first arid breath and humble I shall be come death But long in things of flesh and bone she has come by night in reapers sash and privied me not, for what she told with ne?r to do but take her hold Length of years sees me known to for my years will not she trouble for Tis not my feet, first break of day nor are my hands beseeched for momentous beat when eve of day meets mornings wake need of mind from me she?ll take Walk will I, astride with grief and ne?r to ask for sweet relief for sound and long I need her be Years to fro and nebile breath, to abide her she shall pass, take she won?t her presence for the days that I shall be but see her to or not a quest, will not she seek of me A welcome friend for not is she for visits few, my vainful plea Long are greetings yet of radiant tone and summons to an earthly choir spare her well when light I show but give her not in time of woe

Up the ladder: People
Down the ladder: Cancel that thought

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.5555556
Weighted score: 3.6240597
Overall Rank: 13571
Posted: April 15, 2002 1:02 AM PDT; Last modified: April 15, 2002 1:02 AM PDT
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Comments:
[3]... anonymous @ | 10-May-02/10:52 AM | Reply
Bad, it is. I'm prejudiced against this type of language, but the rhythym is still not right. It can be awkward to use rhyme in some places, but not in others. Try writing sonnets?

That the sentences don't make sense and use very poor grammar matters less to me than the rhythym. In free verse especially, it's not always important, but in this case it just makes you look stupid.

You also might need to get your keyboard fixed. All the apostrophes have been replaced with question marks.
[4] -=SeTTle=- @ 63.214.120.121 | 10-Jul-02/2:44 PM | Reply
How come you never write poetry about being in love and getting laid?
[5] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 30-Jul-02/9:00 PM | Reply
it's like the illiad with no lid.gwenyvere was just another castle concubine for christ sakii let her squelch..in the name of all shellfish! beware of the^ if it cums down to * jump!e
[8] Artificial_Sweetner @ 213.122.93.223 | 24-Sep-02/1:54 PM | Reply
I like it its my style of poem. Good language and I get your point. This poem containts a bit of feeling like mine do. A poet could come of you yet.
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