anonymous10 May 2002

Bad, it is. I'm prejudiced against this type of language, but the rhythym is still not right. It can be awkward to use rhyme in some places, but not in others. Try writing sonnets?

That the sentences don't make sense and use very poor grammar matters less to me than the rhythym. In free verse especially, it's not always important, but in this case it just makes you look stupid.

You also might need to get your keyboard fixed. All the apostrophes have been replaced with question marks.