8 or 9

Member since 2003 · Posted 21 Apr 2004 · 4 comments

Lime lily blossoms One buttercup Puttin rocks in my pocket Skippin like a rock Swingin so high Coming back down Cranberry Crayons Slurpees and slides That cool breeze on the sweat of a hot day You know my name Runnin amok Feet in the mud Good candy money Fireworks, popsicles Can I please?! Homemade coloring pages mint leaf tea Only costs a quarter, a nickle, or one dime please

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 7.22 weighted 6.11 rank 1118 views 330 View voting details →

9 votes so far. Yours would make 10.9 votes so far

4 comments

[5] fluffigrbl11 22-Apr-04/12:17 AM Reply

cute, but the rocks & the pleases kinda throw me.

[9] edpeterson 22-Apr-04/4:31 PM Reply

I love it. I would get rid of the double rocks in the first stanza, and remove one of the coins at the end, probably quarter. very good poem.

[n/a] tadpole › edpeterson 23-Apr-04/2:25 PM Reply

Hey thanks, yeah I just read it again and the rocks twice in a row is kinda too much and one less coin wouldn't hurt for sure either.

[9] sliver 5-May-04/7:08 PM Reply

The rocks in the pocket grabbed me, the rest held me.