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Darkness

Member since 2002 · Posted 15 Aug 2002 · 7 comments

He creeps into my room at night Darkness is a friend to pencils in my pencil case He hides in my tray at school He's lurking under my bed at night ready to pounce Silently he surrounds me His favourite game is to hide in my notepads ready to scare me out of my wits He creeps in the cups and saucers ready to scream 'Boo' Darkness is moons best friend He sleeps under my eye sockets; eyelashes as his quilt Darkness' worst enemy is lightness

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mean 6.33 weighted 5.36 rank 3291 views 108 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

7 comments

[4] pitchblackdisaster 15-Aug-02/1:47 PM Reply

this poem is kinda weird but also brilliant in the way that it has been represented.i think this poem shows no real understanding of the word darkness as its title but yet the ending is brilliantly thaught out and deserves a good mark.

[9] anagram 15-Aug-02/4:31 PM Reply

Sorry Kathryn, when I read your 1st poem Idid not realise your tender years and would now change my mark to 9.This one also is excellent and deserves another 9.Keep it up.Now get TO BED!!!.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Aug-02/4:57 PM Reply

Yes, here on poemsmilecomfortdon'tupsetanyoneranker we like to give people votes that reflect their effort, not their actual "achievement". Yes, yes, I know, it's ridiculous to expect an 11 year old to produce poems that are comparable to that of a talented and experienced adult. I mean well done and all, but what is the last line doing? I doubt that darkness is light's worst enemy. It may be its antithesis, but, like, do all binary relationships between personified elements of nature have to be (im)mortal emnity? Also, it's "light", not "lightness", just for future reference. Other comments: Lovely imagery about darkness's favourite game, but how many times have you actually been scared out of your wits by the dark bits in your notepads? Actually I liked that bit... personification is so absurd to begin with that making it more absurd can only be good.
"Keep up the good work"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. horus8 likes kids. Why not ask him for some poetic advice? P.P.S. Don't read my poemes. They're not suitable for larvae.

[7] ==Doylum 15-Aug-02/5:01 PM Reply

0_019Dirk=Angle%%68 does it again, don't look at my poems. Like ok then i wont i promise.
Kathryn well done.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Aug-02/5:07 PM Reply

Well, would you suggest that KathrynR look at my poemes? I wouldn't. In fact I would suggest that she not look at them. P.S. This is my official stance, not my actual stance. Because I'm so incredibly zany and subversive that not only do I have an 'official' stance which differs from my 'real' stance, I wackily acknowledge this fact in public (no doubt in a stage whisper!!!!!!!!!!!!!)!!!!! P.P.S. These are the most hilarious misspellings yet! You've really hit my weak point! Congratulations on spotting that I really, genuinely do care about the spelling of my name! Because I do care! About the spelling! A lot! I do! Care! Come fly with me let's fly let's fly away...something something something something something something gay!!

[7] ==Doylum 15-Aug-02/5:14 PM Reply

No -=Jo90=- i do not suggest she reads your poems, I would caution her about a great deal on this site,i simply suggest that by commenting on her poem and then saying don't look at my poem she will/won't do exactly what your official or was that unoffical persona said not to do not.

[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Aug-02/5:21 PM Reply

Look, to be honest, I don't give a... care if she looks at them or not. I was simply "covering my behind". Which at the moment is uncovered, as you might expect. Good day to you, Sir.