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Darkness (Free verse) by KathrynR

He creeps into my room at night Darkness is a friend to pencils in my pencil case He hides in my tray at school He's lurking under my bed at night ready to pounce Silently he surrounds me His favourite game is to hide in my notepads ready to scare me out of my wits He creeps in the cups and saucers ready to scream 'Boo' Darkness is moons best friend He sleeps under my eye sockets; eyelashes as his quilt Darkness' worst enemy is lightness

-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 15-Aug-02/4:57 PM
Yes, here on poemsmilecomfortdon'tupsetanyoneranker we like to give people votes that reflect their effort, not their actual "achievement". Yes, yes, I know, it's ridiculous to expect an 11 year old to produce poems that are comparable to that of a talented and experienced adult. I mean well done and all, but what is the last line doing? I doubt that darkness is light's worst enemy. It may be its antithesis, but, like, do all binary relationships between personified elements of nature have to be (im)mortal emnity? Also, it's "light", not "lightness", just for future reference. Other comments: Lovely imagery about darkness's favourite game, but how many times have you actually been scared out of your wits by the dark bits in your notepads? Actually I liked that bit... personification is so absurd to begin with that making it more absurd can only be good.
"Keep up the good work"!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! P.S. horus8 likes kids. Why not ask him for some poetic advice? P.P.S. Don't read my poemes. They're not suitable for larvae.




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