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For my darling Lori (Free verse) by Twisted Wizard
For My Darling Lori The sun does not rise upon the horizon in the skies Nor does it set without your lovely face fixing my eyes. Time lays its burden while you are away, More and more do I miss you each passing day. The ocean waves do not crash or miss a beat, In the incredible moment you stand at my feet. The wind it howls late in the dead of night, Without you to ponder, I fall into fright. You are the epitome of my desire, You light up my life like a blazing fire. You're everything I've searched for and more, I love you now and will do so forevermore. If you are in need, do not dispair, Just call my name and I will be there. I love you

Up the ladder: Daywalker
Down the ladder: sad moments

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Arithmetic Mean: 2.0
Weighted score: 4.193176
Overall Rank: 13232
Posted: August 10, 2002 2:41 AM PDT; Last modified: August 10, 2002 2:41 AM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 217.39.57.50 | 10-Aug-02/2:24 PM | Reply
laughably awful... "The ocean waves do not crash or miss a beat"... what is that supposed to mean? What ocean? Why should ocean waves 'beat'? Is it because 'beat' rhymes with 'feet'? Why should they stop crashing? So what if they do stop crashing? Why do you smell? Is it because you haven't wiped? Is this poeme the 'epitome' of your bum? Why doesn't Jesu feature in any of your poemes? Don't you believe in Jesu? Why not?
[n/a] Twisted Wizard @ | 10-Aug-02/2:31 PM | Reply
go to hell and fuckin die. Your writing is the epitome of shit if you havent noticed. You wanna know why i dont write about jesus? I would much rather read about him and tell others about him than just simply write about him.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 217.39.57.50 | 10-Aug-02/2:34 PM | Reply
Why not do all three? poemeranker is a great place to meet other Christians and share in fellowship and prayer.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 217.39.57.50 | 10-Aug-02/2:39 PM | Reply
P.S I'll thank you to write 'Him' rather than 'him' when referring to Jesus of Nazareth.
[n/a] razorgrin @ 142.166.108.175 | 16-Aug-02/5:10 PM | Reply
She's too good for you, you pathetic little man.
[1] god'swife @ 67.73.35.29 | 13-Oct-03/1:50 PM | Reply
She stood at your feet? Was she in a hole? A person cannot be the epidome of someone elses desire. For example I can't say Mother Teresa is the epitome of my goodness. Other than that it's nauseatingly green.
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