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My happy warm faith poem

Member since 2003 · Posted 27 Jan 2004 · Edited 27 Jan 2004 · 13 comments

I have a happy faith in you sir, but not so much in them. They chase me around town Saying "Looky, looky, look at Britney Spears... Watch the slow movements of her subtle breasts... You are getting sleepy..." Then, I wake up, and I have drank all the Pepsi, and my mom is calling me a sinner because I have my pinner all moist in my furiously pumping hairy hand. And then my hide's tanned, and I weep, but I have faith in you sir, warm happy faithful feelings welling up inside of me, and when you get done doing whatever in the fuck it is that you've been doing up there on cloud 9 for the last two thousand years. I DEMAND THAT YOU GET YOUR ASS, down here Lord! And show me why! Why? Though I have a loving Ma and Pa, and a stupid freckled twit for a sister, and a tendency to pee in the coleslaw, and a five pound green fever blister. I have happy faith lord that though I scrub and lather furiously in the shower somewhere between Britney Spear's slightly scarred left boob, and Harvey Weinstein's unkosher right nut, I have found some kind of heaven Lord. Due to the happy warm faith I have for you. What else oh Lord, what else can the faithful do?

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10 votes so far. Yours would make 11.10 votes so far

13 comments

[10] zodiac 27-Jan-04/11:51 AM Reply

Magnificent. I wonder, what will she think? Will she know?

[9] Goad 27-Jan-04/12:14 PM Reply

there ya go. where's little_big_nose when I need him to rub his nose in something?

uh, "Though I have a loving...blister." is an incomplete sentence; are you sure you didn't want a comma there instead of a period?

I particularly love the "You are getting sleepy..."

[n/a] middenHeap › Goad 27-Jan-04/5:43 PM Reply

and "my mom is calling me a sinner
because I have my pinner all moist"

we loved that too.

[n/a] Jeremi B. Handrinos › Goad 27-Jan-04/6:20 PM Reply

Please don't correct my poetry... I'm really uninterested in your opinion to be frank.

[n/a] lastobelus › Jeremi B. Handrinos 28-Jan-04/4:01 AM Reply

Whether or not it's a sentence fragment is not an opinion.

Whether or not it should STAY a sentence fragment would be an opinion, but I did not express any such opinion. Merely asked.

[n/a] horus8 › lastobelus 28-Jan-04/10:56 AM Reply

Listen, that's nice, but I really don't care. Perhaps you should concentrate on fixing your poetry? It is afterall, unreadable boring goop.

[n/a] middenHeap › horus8 28-Jan-04/2:12 PM Reply

I agree. So make an insightful comment on one.
Or even point out a minor grammatical issue.
Make me regret prodding you.
Make an actual critique (as opposed to referencing your poo-poo)

Didn't you think it was funny I pointed out a (what would be considered in the context of prose to be) grammatical error on the most grammatically correct thing I've ever seen you post ever?

I got quite a chuckle out of it.

[n/a] horus8 › middenHeap 28-Jan-04/2:47 PM Reply

Yes, that's what you do. When you're not measuring craters on about Uranus, and might I add, probing through your on droppings... Fucking moaning monks bug.

[n/a] middenHeap › horus8 28-Jan-04/3:16 PM Reply

There we go, that's what I was looking for! You're so much less boring when you're foaming at the mouth. When I first came back, I thought you'd lost your insecurities or, like, matured or something. But after I hung out for a while, I realized it was just that with PoetAndKnowIt not around, there wasn't anyone to pretend to take you seriously and get you going.

[n/a] horus8 › middenHeap 28-Jan-04/3:45 PM Reply

Yes, we are all aware of the fact that I'm a babboon lacking an red irritated ass with out one of you upper classmen making me a push a penny around the grammeric toilet of seriousness, fuck the educated, you guys always pants me.

[n/a] middenHeap › horus8 28-Jan-04/4:01 PM Reply

Oh, I'm not educated at all, I'm a drop out. Any knowledge I have is gleaned third-hand by osmosis, by dint of reading a few thousand trashy novels, mostly before I was 18. I'm just living out that ages-old cliche of covering for a lack of talent by affecting an air of erudition, knowing all the while that it is futile and everyone sees right through me.

[n/a] andrewjthomas 27-Jan-04/12:28 PM Reply

don't you mean supple instead of subtle?
i don't see anything subtle about her breasts personally
of course, i'm sure that could just be part of the joke

[10] zodiac › andrewjthomas 27-Jan-04/5:37 PM Reply

Yes, I think it is.