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You've Given Me (Lyric) by broken_wing11
You held my hand When I was afraid You gave me hope When I needed aid You gave me friendship When I was alone You gave me love When none was shown You gave me understanding When I was lost You gave me blessings No matter the cost You gave me devotion When I was weak You gave me words When I couldn't speak You gave me wings When I couldn't fly You gave me answers When I wondered why You gave me sunlight When there was rain You gave me pleasure When there was pain You gave me joy When I was close to death You gave me life When I had no breath You gave me shelter When I was cold You gave me your hand When there was none to hold You gave me inspiration When I needed to write You gave me your pillow When I couldnt sleep at night You gave me a dream So I could awaken from my nightmare You gave me confidence When I was in despair You gave me a soul When mine was gone You gave me a reason So I could move on You gave me time When all was still You gave me the way When there was no will You gave me the power To move on from strife You gave me bliss When you entered my life You gave to me What I failed to get You gave me a light Already lit You gave me prosperity Hope and love But most of all you gave me Everything I'm dreaming of Every moment I watch you In amazement and glee And remember every little thing That youve to given me

Up the ladder: The Influence of Anxiety
Down the ladder: leavetaking

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.375
Weighted score: 5.638736
Overall Rank: 2156
Posted: January 26, 2004 7:49 PM PST; Last modified: January 26, 2004 7:49 PM PST
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Comments:
[9] sonawrote @ 205.188.208.105 | 26-Jan-04/7:58 PM | Reply
heartfelt & sweet......
[3] andrewjthomas @ 192.150.10.200 | 27-Jan-04/12:33 PM | Reply
too sweet
and your rhymes come too fast and blunt
[5] god'swife @ 67.73.35.126 | 27-Jan-04/1:57 PM | Reply
Without the benefit of music this comes off terribly simplistic.

Rework the last two stanzas. 'Everything I'm dreaming of' is too much something that's pulled out when one is at a loss for anything better.

'Amazement + glee' glee? There are better words to use that rhyme with 'me'.

Unfortunately many of your stanzas have been seen and heard before. With the exceptions of S2 + S3 + S4 which I like quite a bit.

I think it's important for people to express this kind of acknowledgement. Love is the most total act of a soul, reflects the nature of the soul. So this person of yours, this Beloved, deserves praise and for me, this kind of literature provides a lesson in loving.
Best of luck. Do try to spread your wings a bit.
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