god'swife27 Jan 2004

Without the benefit of music this comes off terribly simplistic.

Rework the last two stanzas. 'Everything I'm dreaming of' is too much something that's pulled out when one is at a loss for anything better.

'Amazement + glee' glee? There are better words to use that rhyme with 'me'.

Unfortunately many of your stanzas have been seen and heard before. With the exceptions of S2 + S3 + S4 which I like quite a bit.

I think it's important for people to express this kind of acknowledgement. Love is the most total act of a soul, reflects the nature of the soul. So this person of yours, this Beloved, deserves praise and for me, this kind of literature provides a lesson in loving.
Best of luck. Do try to spread your wings a bit.