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Sleep (Free verse) by Shade_dreamer in the deep
blue sea of sleep
rhythm
breath drawn in
sighs slow release
sit in awe
watch the rise and fall
breath drawn in
sighs slow release
perched in silence
amazed by it all
emotions stirs
deep within
breath drawn in
sighs slow release
venus' path
never falters
breath drawn in
sighs slow release
rhythm
Up the ladder:
Sitting Alone
Down the ladder:
She moves
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 2.75
Posted: January 9, 2004 2:04 PM PST; Last modified: January 9, 2004 2:04 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.7317934 Overall Rank: 11786 Comments:
[0]
titan69 @ 62.31.23.84
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10-Jan-04/12:46 AM
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Reply
this pome just has no rhythm
[n/a]
Shade_dreamer @ 64.105.60.13
> titan69
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16-Jan-04/6:55 AM
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Reply
Thanks for the honest Apraisal.
Ummm... No... There is a definite rythm to this poem.
(There's a couple of errors ;), but definitely rythm :P)
help me out. what erors?
and before I forget thanks for the appraisal.
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