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Saying of Love (Free verse) by UrbaneSavvy A figment of imagination
Yet still reality and
Still wondering how I and you
Turned into we
Amazed at how the love we posess
Can be so wonderfully complex and multiple
And yet dwells in simplicity
Under Waterheavy flows
Of intimate desires
We transpire
Flooding our fields with devotion
As our sun rays
Reflects affection from our outer layers
Full of emotions
With love as our roots
We gain success
At our quest
To maintain happiness.
Up the ladder:
Tribeca
Down the ladder:
Mixed Quartet
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 6.8
Posted: December 5, 2003 3:56 PM PST; Last modified: December 7, 2003 9:57 PM PSTWeighted score: 5.2145653 Overall Rank: 4388 Comments:
[8]
Shardik @ 24.126.116.54
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5-Dec-03/4:18 PM
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Reply
"worderfully"?
waterheavy flows - wary nyce.
I think its "how I and you", just for gigs. What do you think - does that sound right? "wondering how I turned into we", - versus "wondering how me turned into we" ... where are the grammar cops when you need them?? I think the shoes are a little heavy on this one, but there is a sense here with some word images that you are capable of much more.
ahhhh love,amore I've only tasted the ambrosia of this orchis/family but once [I mean the taste of love real love]it gave me asthenia.I am a godess so i recovered a bit quicker.I even lived in orcus because of it. My own creation..same birth mark distinguish from others characterize, make clear,boundary,mine. yet another century he is my bezel.Real love is eternal "Live as if you were to die tommorow.learn as if you were to live forever"
Mahatma Gandhi. this touched my diamond hard heart a 9
It's reak good but starts to go south especially at the last line. How about "a basis"?
I bet you think you're heaven bound?
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