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They who would have me forget (Free verse) by BleedingRose They tell me, "laugh".
They tell me, "smile".
They tell me, "pain fades after a while".
"Turn your back".
"Leave it behind".
"Find solace in a joy of another kind".
But I live for that grief.
I live for that pain.
That ache in my heart like an acid rain.
Every second I mourn.
Every second I cry.
I give meaning to the losses of days gone by.
Up the ladder:
Amber's Witness
Down the ladder:
As I sit alone
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 7.1666665
Posted: December 2, 2003 8:47 AM PST; Last modified: December 2, 2003 11:25 AM PSTWeighted score: 5.5827065 Overall Rank: 2349 Comments:
[7]
richa @ 81.178.248.108
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2-Dec-03/1:22 PM
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Reply
good rhythm I think. Acid does not ache you though, it burns. In fact acid rain is too weak to do much at all, dissolve gravestones slowly perhaps.
The real feeling comes through.
It comes across as a bit trite, but still heart-felt.
this is just so good
we really do have a lot in common, i always get hung on shit too. just feels wrong to forget it...
-10- i think this is your best one, well mabye the one about truth is better, but there close anyway 223 view(s)
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