poemranker ::The Escape by Geschäftsreise

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Lyric № 74474

The Escape

Member since 2003 · Posted 9 Nov 2003 · Edited 9 Nov 2003 · 2 comments

Gathered your secret held it close so as not to be seen Bringing clothes and favourite things to meet me at the beach that night Carried a lantern shuttered tight so as not to be seen Flashed the shutters down three times and I came out from hiding No time for greetings this darkened night we must not be seen Made our way to the cliff wall to hide the truth from prying eyes Shadowed by boulders moving fast trying not to be seen To where the boat was held fast moored in unsure harbour Within sight of our escape waiting there your brutal father had seen And had paced us closed our escape He stood between us a fearsome grin and told me all that he'd seen Fired his pistol now three times and I fell dying to the sand Gathered your fingers in my hand but could not say a thing A torrent welled from deep inside as our tears came out from hiding And tears filled the oceans drowning all and our bodies floated, rising once again

Rate it

0 is the worst, 10 the best. Pick a number, add a comment if you like, then send it. Keys: 0–9 pick, Enter sends.

mean 4.67 weighted 4.91 rank 9665 views 189 View voting details →

6 votes so far. Yours would make 7.6 votes so far

2 comments

[6] ShaNoN+960317485 10-Nov-03/6:41 AM Reply
The darn father..seen:o)
[5] dancin_n_da_moonlite 5-Mar-05/11:41 AM Reply
um why dont you write a story not a poem, because this comes across as very unskilled and choppy

but you might to nicely if you make it into a short story