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The Secrets Of Men (Free verse) by scitz
We are deep rivers, Concealed in shallow layers of skin, We take all that women give us, And hide it within. On the catwalk of ego we wear the persona you sold us, And like dogs remember every good and bad thing you've told us. Some of us own 2 SIM cards that sometimes we switch, So that we still have a lover when you're being a bitch. We know your menstrual cycle like the TV guide, Thats when we go to the Pub and hide. We feel envy when you apply foundation, We pinch your moisturizer on every occasion. We cringe with embarrassment when you park the car, Or tell us we've had too much to drink at a crowded bar. But how we love the smell of your hair, Watching you get ready to go out, and seeing what you'll wear. Our friends inform us if they see you talking to other guys, We are Men; we are insecure but always wise. During lovemaking, and holding you gently, We study your groans of dubious pleasure intently, If you contract and perspire we are victorious, If theirs just the noise we are failures. We are Men, we are boys, we are apes who miss our caves, And the secrets of men will be buried with us in our graves.

Up the ladder: She Searches For Love
Down the ladder: unidentified

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.571429
Weighted score: 5.422622
Overall Rank: 3070
Posted: November 3, 2003 5:06 AM PST; Last modified: November 3, 2003 5:06 AM PST
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Comments:
[7] Shuushin @ 147.154.235.53 | 3-Nov-03/8:15 AM | Reply
For my part, my "depth" consists mostly of walking around thinking I lost my wallet, or my keys. I must have come from a different tribe than you've described here.

Always a danger making these types of generalizations, but as a poem, it has some interesting perspectives and some cute rhymes - even if occasionally slightly forced ones.

As a suggestion, I think you could save this if you came over the top with it; make it a bit tongue-in-cheek. I know it's been done - maybe you can do it better.
[5] ==Doylum @ 80.225.174.107 | 5-Nov-03/4:37 AM | Reply
Seasons in the cave (To the tune of seasons in the sun)

We are men we are deep
but our skins thin so we seep
but we patch up the seams
with your moisterizing creams

We are men we are boys
we like playing with our toys
But the drink not the song
make the games we play go wrong.

We are men we drink beer
and your twitter we don't hear
yet we go there sometimes
in attempts to cross the lines

We are men we arnt gay
well i'm not anyway
Can i borrow you bra
and i let you drive the car

We are men we give shaft
and we do it with great craft
but we're looking for signs
that your only groaning lines

We are men we are brave
we are apes who miss our cave
and the secrets of men
will be buried in our grave
[10] sliver @ 63.190.80.132 | 17-Nov-03/3:31 PM | Reply
Fantastic, I haven't read any of these yet, I think I'm going to enjoy reading your stuff. Nice synopsis by the way.
[10] cuddlytiger17 @ 64.80.244.151 | 26-May-04/3:56 PM | Reply
lol i really like this one!
[6] Jill Stockinger @ 127.0.0.1 | 27-Dec-20/3:44 PM | Reply
Used rhyme inconsistently, which weakens the poem. Some good lines!
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