|
|
fog (Lyric) by FreeFormFixation
i just don't want to be
a face forgotten in the fog
as time transpires
as time drips by.
So tell me, do you see
this moment trapped in
blank space now?
an impression in clay
pressed to remain.
do you see at second glance
the same sad sight you saw before?
a jumbled mess of words and visions
conjuring an apparition.
Blending with this cloudless night
two voices twist up toward the sky
reckoning to moments past;
counting stars in childhood.
i just dont want to be
a piece of sand on an endless beach
as tides stretch out,
as shorelines change.
so tell me, do you see me?
Do you feel as though this thought
will soon spill over into a dream?
Or is this all just fun and games?
Of course i'm fine with that, but still
i have a tendency to speak
and hide the things i mean to say.
Somehow i know you know what i mean,
picking up on all my subleties.
i just dont want to be
old polaroids in a small shoe box
as sepia seeps
and yellows my face.
so tell me, do you see me
clearly? or am i slowly sinking with entropy's cleaning?
carved to remain,
i see it never changing.
your eyes burned into mine
their clarity never changing.
counting triangles in the sky
constellations never changing.
carved into my flesh and brain
this memory never scabs over.
never. never.
i just dont want to see
your face erased from my windowpane
as frost sets in
and the world turns white.
so tell me, do you see?
do you see me at all?
do you see me at all?
do you see me at all?
do you see me at all?
i just dont want to be
a face forgotten in the fog
as time transpires
as time drips by.
so tell me, do you see
this moment trapped in
blank space now?
an impression in clay.
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
| Graph | Votes |
10 |
|
2 | 0 |
9 |
|
0 | 0 |
8 |
|
1 | 0 |
7 |
|
0 | 0 |
6 |
|
1 | 0 |
5 |
|
0 | 0 |
4 |
|
0 | 0 |
3 |
|
0 | 0 |
2 |
|
0 | 0 |
1 |
|
0 | 0 |
0 |
|
2 | 0 |
|
Arithmetic Mean: 5.6666665
Weighted score: 5.179294
Overall Rank: 4854
Posted: November 2, 2003 11:20 PM PST; Last modified: November 2, 2003 11:20 PM PST
View voting details
Comments:
236 view(s)
|
This one has a fresh thought to it, and as a lyric works really quite well, I think.
If you want to tweak it more, you could thin it out here and there so that stuff like this:
"i just dont want to be
old polaroids in a small shoe box
as sepia seeps
and yellows my face.
so tell me, do you see me"
which rocks, isn't diluted by less memorable sentiments.