poemranker ::Autumn At All Saints Church by Caducus

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Free verse № 71686

Autumn At All Saints Church

Member since 2002 · Posted 23 Oct 2003 · 5 comments

I harvest the view of the corn gold sun Which hangs like ‘Salem’ heretics. The caw of Ravens devours silence, As willows weep over russet leaves Which bury the graves in spines of Technicolor. The dog collared pavement starer walks towards me, His legs twisted like stained glass lead Waving his willow cane at magpies, Whilst walking on the dead. He moves his only tooth around his tongue And with furrowed brow Asks me what my business is ‘Autumn I say, just watching the world pass by’ ‘THIS IS PRIVATE PROPERTY SO GET OUT’ was his curt reply. I enquired ‘Am I trespassing on God’ To which he beat me with his stick, Lashing at me like strangling vines I ran away and never returned, And the old man died during a sermon, But Autumn never left me.

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mean 7.18 weighted 6.09 rank 1156 views 368 View voting details →

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5 comments

[10] INTRANSIT 23-Oct-03/6:32 AM Reply
Cram-o-rama. Pain, Beauty, religion,halloweenish creepiness, love. Damn good details too.
[3] King Abdullah I 23-Oct-03/6:34 AM Reply
WOW!!!!!11
MEDIOCRITY CODE
00801400

http://www.mycgiserver.com/~prawne/code.jsp?action=decode&thecode=00801400

INSUFFICIENTLY MEDIOCRE

-3-
[8] richa 23-Oct-03/6:52 AM Reply
Like the line 'sun hangs like salem heretics'

Especially with the church theme, not so much an image I guess as a comment.

'Am I trespassing on God' is a nice comment to explore(perhaps a bit more).

The images though good are rather arbitrary.

Word choice I think should make the reader ask why you included certain details and not others, and should strike deep at the meaning of the poem.

Definitely a poem with merit though.
[n/a] fair12 23-Oct-03/10:07 AM Reply
The beginning was excellent - great images and word play - but the last stanza just lost the feeling as a whole..
[n/a] A. Nomaly 23-Oct-03/4:57 PM Reply
those grumpy god lovers need to lighten up