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I am one (Other) by red Morning sun
you pull me from
the place where, i am one.
You take me in, the form I came
and i fall back, just like the rain.
Up the ladder:
Broken Child
Down the ladder:
Enigma
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: September 20, 2003 9:08 AM PDT; Last modified: September 20, 2003 9:08 AM PDTWeighted score: 4.880797 Overall Rank: 10061 Comments:
[n/a]
red @ 200.64.190.146
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20-Sep-03/9:10 AM
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Reply
hope you all enjoy this as much as i do
Much better than the rose one. I'd take out the line spacings and all of the commas. It seems to me that the places you put commas should have been line-breaks.
It's light, fluffy and melts in my mouth.
take out the word 'the' in the last line. 131 view(s)
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