Free verse № 66060
reflexion v.3 - Cannibalization and Twilight
--
You are
dreamwalker,
sauntering across
the rouged rocks
where silence lay.
Frolic beneath
the flowing bloodstream,
imbibe this prized Medoc
and revel whats left
of your sacrifice, splattered
upon natures platter.
Feed off another, to live
again, and awaken
to your drollery
and film noir;
left to live this
consummate nightmare.
5 comments
[_] About romantic love
[_] About poetry-writing
[_] About suicide or self-mutilation
[X] Arbitrary indentation
[X] Arbitrary line breaks
[_] Autobiographical but in the third person
[X] Clerical errors
[_] Cliched imagery (staring out of window, pits of despair)
[_] Cliched rhymes (love/above etc.)
[_] Devoid of alliteration or any such linguistic embellishments
[X] Devoid of rhyme
[_] Devoid of simile, reification or any such literary devices
[_] Devoid of wond'rous or fantastical imagery
[_] Drug references
[_] Elves, unicorns, etc.
[_] Exclamation points used to mark 'the funny bits'
[_] Insipidly whimsical or zany
[_] Leaving rant
[_] Lower case only
[_] Melodramatic
[_] Naively religious or superstitious
[_] Obsessed with femininity
[_] Overabundance of ellipses
[_] Overuse of 'depression' words (putrid, wretched, darkness, etc)
[X] Pointedly unanswered questions
[_] Protagonist has a smug name
[_] Rage against the machine
[_] References to the author's 'social life'
[_] Repetition of a single word or phrase to the point of nausea
[_] Sanctimoniously moral
[_] Sentimental
[_] Self-pity
[X] Thesaurophilia
[_] Use of internet shorthand or emoticons
[_] Vicarious wish fulfilment
lol.. what words can i use? eh? pfft.
pointedly unanswered questions? might you be kind enough to point that out, or clear up my confusion with this.
Wiped his bum.
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