| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
A Fractured Egg Shell (Free verse) by newdawnfades A fractured egg shell
has fallen from my hands.
It could not hold things together.
The drop was too high, too sudden
for a fractured egg shell.
It lays in pieces
no longer one whole egg shell.
A fractured egg shell lies shattered,
motionless, its life filling the cracks
in the floor.
Up the ladder:
go away
Down the ladder:
A Meandering Fistful of Haiku
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.3333335
Posted: September 18, 2003 12:08 PM PDT; Last modified: September 18, 2003 12:08 PM PDTWeighted score: 4.9205313 Overall Rank: 9447 Comments:
[7]
sliver @ 63.190.64.137
|
18-Sep-03/9:05 PM
|
Reply
A note on life perhaps? Not yours I hope.
[n/a]
newdawnfades @ 128.208.65.134
> sliver
|
19-Sep-03/9:36 AM
|
Reply
Yes actually, but it was more of a mental and emotional fracture.
HUMPTY DUMPTY JUMPED OFF THE EMPIRE STATE BUILDING
scrambled eggs for breakfast, shell fragments saved to be used as toothpicks.
Not quite, but you may have a poem of your own there.
I love the way you've used an egg as a metaphor for life in general.
Should I thank you or 'think you'? ;)
Please don't joke about my comments. I feel as if you're trying to trivialise them. There are times when humour is appropriate and times when we need to think seriously about life. I'm not one to hold a grudge, but I'd be grateful if you could think about what I've said. Thank you.
I didn't think what I said was out of line. I was just trying to be friendly. Could it be possible you are being a tad bit sensitive? Anyhow, life's too short, you're not the joking type, dully noted.
I thought I could trust you. I thought we were friends. But friends don't trivialise each other's emotions. Friends don't dismiss each other's feelings as the meaningless twaddle of someone who is being a "tad bit sensitive". And friends don't accuse each other of lacking a sense of humour when they have stepped out of line. You're right about one thing, though. Life IS too short... too short spend one's time sharing one's thoughts with someone who doesn't appreciate them. Life is like a candle - light the flame, and though it may eventually fade, it will provide both heat and light for many days. But if you don't light the flame because you're too afraid watch the flame die, then you are already dead. Think about it. What have you done with your candle...
I didn't trivialise your emotions. I was taking a friendly stab at you. I appreciated all your thoughts, but we can only be ourselves, not how you want us to be. I would suggest to you to do a little less directing and have more patience with responses of others. We don't all see the world in the same light. Some people are more serious, others have more of a balance. I've got a sense of humor. That doesn't mean I don't take people seriously, it just means life shouldn't be taken too seriously.
I'm beginning to think we never really shared any empathy together; that the spiritual mind ocean I tried to explain was just a silly joke to you; that you don't really think emotions are the fundamental building blocks that give substance to our poetry; that you're just here to laugh at me.
Tell me none of that is true. I'm prepared to accept you have a different outlook on life, and maybe I did overreact earlier, but please tell me you can at least find some common ground with me in the spiritual mind ocean. If you can accept that, then I'm sorry I went overboard - just a little paranoid I guess!
I don't think our outlook is too different. I think we have alot of common ground spiritually speaking and there is no doubt to me that emotions are the fundamental building blocks to poetry and everything else that gives us meaning in this life. Emotion is everything to me. I am sorry to have offended you. Just so you know, I only tease the people who I find interesting and worthwhile.
I only tease people who I think are incredibly stupid.
This poem seems a little odd but it's interesting. This can be compared to how fragile life is. Good work.
191 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
