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Missing (Free verse) by justjay
Something's gone. Hurt, pain. . . space. Emptiness in a spot of happiness. I can't feel her anymore. Something's wrong. I'm desperately reaching out. Nobodies there. Falling into space. Overly protective of nothing. It's gone. . .

Up the ladder: Starting Over
Down the ladder: one day, one moment

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Arithmetic Mean: 3.75
Weighted score: 4.8509965
Overall Rank: 10528
Posted: August 10, 2003 1:14 PM PDT; Last modified: August 10, 2003 1:14 PM PDT
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Comments:
[5] Caducus @ 62.105.119.105 | 11-Aug-03/2:36 AM | Reply
Not bad but show us this emptiness !

For example emptiness could be a bell not tolling, or a kiss before work after 20 years of marriage, give us what emptiness is to you. Also when you reach out what is there? is it emptiness? tell us about how the air feels so lost around your fingers anything other than nothing.

Lots of potential here but lethargic 5
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