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Tears and Tombstones (Other) by OnTheOtherHand
A tear fell on my cheek today I didn't care to wipe it away I waited for your hand to turn off the hurt Like when I the didn't wake to the morning alert I'll wait while I sleep and see you while I dream I'll know it's not real no matter how you seem But in it I'll find again the comfort I need to rest The kind of comfort I got laying across your chest I don't care if they see the wet line If they don't ask I should be fine But they ask why and want me to tell They always want a personal account of Hell You don't ask a flooded farmer what he thinks of the rain Misery loves company but not when the guest brings pain So alone I sit or in dreams I lie Talking to you and imagining your reply Snow fell on your tombstone today I took off my gloves to brush it away Like when I used to push back your hair So I could see that smile on that face so fair

Up the ladder: Truth in Lies
Down the ladder: How A Panhandler Kills

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.285714
Weighted score: 5.614723
Overall Rank: 2232
Posted: July 19, 2003 6:56 AM PDT; Last modified: July 19, 2003 6:56 AM PDT
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Comments:
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 | 19-Jul-03/2:50 PM | Reply
Excellent writing. -10-
[5] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 19-Jul-03/7:40 PM | Reply
I'll give you a five for the last stanza because I liked it, but it was a shitslide getting there, good christ, no wonder you've distanced it from the rest of the piece.
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 > horus8 | 19-Jul-03/9:03 PM | Reply
How about a little bit more constructive criticism?
[7] Heather Dee @ 4.178.117.131 | 10-Sep-05/11:09 PM | Reply
Very nice although I think you could have thought of a better line for "They always want a personal account of Hell"
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