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How A Panhandler Kills (Free verse) by SupremeDreamer
A bum sits at the entrance of a Korean liquor store with his back against the wall. His puce overcoat enshrouds a decaying body, and greasy grey hair is hidden under a dunce cap. He clasps a bottle of rum in his right hand, his left held out for spare change, mumbling about the pretty girlies that were once the object of his worship as people walk by. Some passer-bys laugh at him, some are amused and smile, others pity him and all his kind. A young man hops out of a black Toyota and spots the hobo wearing soiled clothes. The dreary view causes him to frown. He walks up to the old man and groans. “You want me to give you some change don’t you?” The vagrant lifts his head to look at the man and reveals his jaundiced teeth with a grin. “I want you to give me whatever you think I deserve.” Grunts escape tender lips as the man enters the store. He buys a bottle of brandy and a pack of Marlboro Reds, saving three pennies for the bums empty hand. Walking out, he tosses the change onto the filthy ground and sneers. “There old man, heres three pennies, more than what you had before I entered this liquor store and you still have nothing.” Calloused lips deliver a chuckle along with grave words that the fool will remember forever: I may have nothing that you find valuable, but I have a thousand lives tucked under my raddled hat, so I know everything about your pathetic existence. I also know exactly whats gonna happen when you get home. Heres a little of what I know: I know that you love a woman who is an adulteress. You still want her, yet hate the whore. Heres your fate for today: Brandy will flow down your gullet while you weep with shame, ashamed because you think that you're a monster for having such rage and because you dream of committing murder. Tears will decorate the yellow tiles of your house, your moist eyes watching three little ruffians squeal like pigs as they run around the house. And you know what? When all that is happening, I will be here rolling three pennies along my knuckles, thinking about how I am three cents richer, fulfilled with the long life I have lived. My mind will be filled with thoughts of pity when contemplating bout that poor chap who has a Toyota, a trollop, three tykes, and a two story house. I will pity him because he'll be looking at all that makes him a respected member of this society, knowing he has accomplished nothing. You see, I have three pennies, my bottle of rum, and an endless filmroll of picturesque memories. I reside in heaven, and will continue to even when my bones rot under the ground. And what about you? You'll still be sitting at your dinner table crying.

Up the ladder: Tears and Tombstones
Down the ladder: MT. RUSH-MORE!

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Arithmetic Mean: 7.285714
Weighted score: 5.614723
Overall Rank: 2232
Posted: August 21, 2003 3:01 AM PDT; Last modified: August 21, 2003 3:30 AM PDT
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[9] Joe-joe @ | 21-Aug-03/4:02 AM | Reply
Yo Dreamster,

This is really nice work. I'm not sure I'd classify it as poetry but it had all the elements of a well thought out, mature, and meaningful story. I think the perspective offered in this piece is on the money and PROFOUND. Good work. -9-
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > Joe-joe | 21-Aug-03/4:05 AM | Reply
joe.. your really obsessed with this profoundness bullshit.. my poem isnt that profound.. its actually a very simple output..
and its a poem.. free verse.. if your dont agree, tag it as prose, i dont give a shit. btw, read my response i gave you on my trailer park piece.
[9] Joe-joe @ > SupremeDreamer | 21-Aug-03/4:44 AM | Reply
I think you're right about my obsession with the "profound". It's a point well taken. But I do think this work makes a significant point about our society's values and norms and our perception of what constitutes happiness and security. Yes it is a relatively simple point but the simple and the profound are not mutually exclusive. In fact the way I see things, the most profound things in our world are, almost without exception, quite simple. I see in your work a continued impulse to expose many the facads and hypocrocies that surround our society. Maybe I'm reading your words too deeply and putting my own spin on them. That's just the way I see it.
[7] horus8 @ > Joe-joe | 21-Aug-03/1:04 PM | Reply
I'd say. Ha ha ha, are you saying YOU ARE INTO MURDER?

Discos out murders in
Discos out murders inDiscos out murders in

Discos out murders in
[8] richa @ | 21-Aug-03/5:09 AM | Reply
Interesting story, well put accross.
Not sure about the know it all tramp though. The bit about the adultress and stuff sounds a little 'dawsons creek.'

And portraying the tramps life as happy and contented I find a bit strange. But the comparison between the two is rather good.

It could just as easily be about the remorse of toyota man thinking what he had compared to the tramp.

anyway good piece
[n/a] DreamerSupreme @ > richa | 21-Aug-03/5:29 AM | Reply
cmon now, dawnsons creek? i admit its a its a bit soap opera, but cmon DAWNSONS CREEK? i think ill go shoot myself.. ;/

I dont see how its strange that a tramp is happy and content with his life, ive met tramps like that actually.. they exist, then again your right, its really conflicting with him being poor and begging for money.

happy you enjoyed it.
[7] horus8 @ | 21-Aug-03/11:20 AM | Reply
It was good up to the point where you had to deliver the 'message'. Then it was a yawn.
Here are two facts.

1. A man with three kids never hops out of a toyota,
he slowly slides.

2. A man that dreams of murder? Does not love or stay with a cheating whore. He moves on to his dreams, and better things... Like MURDERING.
[n/a] SupremeDreamer @ > horus8 | 21-Aug-03/2:23 PM | Reply
1: point taken.

2: Thats not true.. the smart ones move on... if they get involved with a cheating whore in the first place, then that should be a clue concerning intelligence..

If i write a gory murder poem or something around that nature, will you stop bugging me about murder?? eh?? what the fuck made murder a #1 priority in your head at the moment? I'm really wondering why you have this current fascination..
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