Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

The Girl Who Is Gone (Other) by BuffysBack419
In the darkness of the night, A little girl sits in wait, She'd given up hope; she'd lost the fight She knows not love, but hate. In school she sits, alone again, Not a soul will be her friend, They laugh, they mock, they joke, they play, Hurting her in every way. She walks to her home, Forgotten, miserable, invisible, alone People on the streets pass her by, They say nothing, She wants to die. She's trapped; she’s stuck, she wants away, So she spread her wings and flew today, To nowhere in particular, But she went to there to stay. She used to be a puppet, Attached by binding strings, To a life she truly hates, So she grew some wings. Shed always wanted to disappear, She got her wish and is no longer here. We never noticed, we never cared, It's our fault she wasn’t spared. We should’ve paid a closer look, We should’ve said hello, We should’ve cared about the girl we took To a place we'll never know. We've learned a lot, And now we know, We wont treat people, Like the girl long ago. She wont be forgotten, Her spirit lives on We'll never forget, The girl who is gone.

Up the ladder: Ocular Photoalbum

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 01
.. 00
.. 10
.. 10
.. 10
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.8333335
Weighted score: 5.2241178
Overall Rank: 4271
Posted: July 17, 2003 11:41 PM PDT; Last modified: July 17, 2003 11:41 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] Terence @ 195.157.153.253 | 18-Jul-03/2:13 AM | Reply
A bit child-like, but I expect that the simple style has been adopted consciously and for a specific effect. Correct me if I'm wrong. The first stanza was undoubtedly the best bit. The rest needs polishing.
[n/a] BuffysBack419 @ 68.98.234.148 > Terence | 18-Jul-03/4:22 PM | Reply
Its a bit child-like seeing how i am a child, but i thank you for the opinion, and i will try to polish it.
[6] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 18-Jul-03/4:04 PM | Reply
"But she went to there to stay." My friend Vipersna invented this form, you are a thief! Nah, there are some interesting normal reactions to abandonment here, you are not alone, hang on, to this 6.
[n/a] BuffysBack419 @ 68.98.234.148 > Jeremi B. Handrinos | 18-Jul-03/4:23 PM | Reply
i assure I am not a thief, i wrote this before i ever really got into poetry.
152 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001