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Cold Spiral (Free verse) by emeraldskies
Frigid sleekness gripped Between white enamel rows The steel grits into my teeth Bringing a touching pain I haven't felt in a long time Why have I started now, When I know all is lost? The knife in my mouth Is like the gun in my hand... Aching to get on with it. The END... What longing and beauty Of a maroon redness Unparalelled by serenity, Spawned from insanity. The remnants of my mind Are lost upon me finally... I take the steel blade, Working it naturally, easily... Then the gun finishes it As I slide to the floor.

Up the ladder: Good Bye

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Arithmetic Mean: 1.6666666
Weighted score: 4.602657
Overall Rank: 12497
Posted: July 8, 2003 7:02 PM PDT; Last modified: July 8, 2003 7:02 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 9-Jul-03/2:13 AM | Reply
I wanted too let you know, that I didn't think your poetry was totally hopeless earlier, (it is frightfully young and sensitive) but I would be willing to teach you, some will warn you not to trust me (because they will be jealous),and because I am Grendal, I am offering you this opportunity because I went and read a bit about you on your home page and we have some of the same interests. I also would rather see you have a passion for writing and living rather than feeling resentful of who you are or how you percieve the world around you. I found that you were interesting and would be willing to have you as my apprentice.
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 > horus8 | 9-Jul-03/2:18 AM | Reply
Dude, take him up on this. He helped me before and it's worth it. Plus he's a hottie. :o

I'm kidding about the hottie thing but really he's what you want. Someone who knows what they're talking about and won't bull shit you about it. He's not hampered by styles or subject matter either. He and I don't write anything alike most of the time and he still did a great job.
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