I've got a shiny new Ass Bag It's warm and smells slighly of gas I've got a shiny new Ass Bag And I've strapped it real tight to my ass With my new indestructible Ass Bag I went to biology class At first, folks spoke well of my Ass Bag As it's made of tough shatterproof glass But I bragged hard all day 'bout my Ass Bag And my boasting backfired alas! For they snatched off my shiny new Ass Bag And they rammed it real deep up my ass. AUTHOR'S NOTE OF EXPLANATION Ladies and gentlemen, I wish first to say a few words of introduction. I first posted this poem at a time when my username was "Supreme_Dreamer". In the comments section, horus8 said "Yep" and thepinkbunnyofdoom said " Happens all the time. I've already lost three that way this week". Then the real SupremeDreamer showed up and said "OK let me inform everyone: I DID NOT WRITE THIS CRAP. TWO: Im going to ask that this username be DELETED. Im not going to have some imposter attempting to make me look like an idiot. Also, settle, i think your the one responsible for this, and its not smart to piss me off. If im wrong about my assumptions, forgive me. btw, heres a zero." Amusingly, horus8 then said "Too bad you didn't write it, cuz it's good. I was going to compliment you on improving." To which the real SupremeDreamer replied, "lol. what are you trying to say exactly?" Soon after, however, SupremeDreamer stopped laughing in order to post this suggestion: "There should be a way to keep people from staining a persons reputation by impostering their nickname. Recently someone made the username supreme_dreamer and posted "my ass bag". I really dont appreciate people tricking people by making people think im posting such poems. It shows that such a person is too pathetic and stupid to attack me directly. the username supreme_dreamer is an imposter, and i request that it be deleted or given a wanker award for attempting to blemish my reputation. If possible id also like to know who is behind the creation of the username." Whereupon I changed my name to King Abdullah and posted a direct attack entitled "SupremeDreamer". I hope that this explanation clears up the confusion.