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One Lump Or Two? (Villanelle) by OneFingerAnswer
Washing broken dishes in a leaking sink You're like coffee, a bitter mug Yet, still we sit and drink The words you speak, the things I think, The pain, the love, the piss stained rug Washing broken dishes in a leaking sink Trying to catch your eye while you blink, Awkwardness withholding a tempting hug, Yet, again we sit and drink Another crash, another crack, another clink, Again you try to dispose of it with a shrug Washing broken dishes in a leaking sink Tears in eyes, emotions on the brink Sadness turned to bitter hate, tug by tug Yet, here we sit and drink In hot water the memories shrink Pass the salt and season the slug Washing broken dishes in a leaking sink Yet tomorrow we'll sit and drink


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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.888889
Weighted score: 6.4444447
Overall Rank: 741
Posted: July 6, 2003 4:34 PM PDT; Last modified: July 6, 2003 6:00 PM PDT
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Comments:
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 6-Jul-03/5:51 PM | Reply
Are you missing a stanza purposely?
[n/a] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 > horus8 | 6-Jul-03/5:53 PM | Reply
No :( And I'm starting to hate this shit.

Why is that whenever I look at a poem and go back and change something it fucks everything to hell?

*Edits (again)*
[n/a] Shardik @ 24.126.113.154 > OneFingerAnswer | 6-Jul-03/6:12 PM | Reply
I like it so far, don't be critical, it makes me blush.
The title's a barrell of monkeys.
[8] Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154 | 6-Jul-03/7:09 PM | Reply
You're improving at these. Steady as she goes.
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 | 6-Jul-03/8:32 PM | Reply
The best vilanelle I have ever read(which true isn't many but eh?)!!!! -10-.
[8] fevriere @ 213.232.79.194 | 12-Jan-04/3:57 AM | Reply
Powerful words, excellent meter and rhythm.
[7] sanity @ 80.43.109.18 | 14-Jul-04/2:12 PM | Reply
Liked this one................
258 view(s)




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