poemranker ::Fate Sucks by Kitch

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Free verse № 52551

Fate Sucks

by Kitch

Member since 2003 · Posted 12 Jun 2003 · 7 comments

Everyone has their last place on earth they avoid. Well fate packed my suitcase and its overjoyed. Fate plays its hand and we always follow, But as the game gets harder it gets harder to swallow. We play a safe hand, Fate likes to gamble, Fate is ambitious, Its nature vicious, We have limitations, Whereas fates is substantial. I have mixed feelings about fate, It’s a relationship of love and hate. Have faith in it, Yes never see what what I wait for, And if she calls, My heart always falls, And that’s what fates for. I can’t accept a relationship of give and take, For I want to give my world, All of me, So she can fall with me, And drown in sunshine on the lake. I want to recite the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet, Look in to her eyes so she’ll never forget, That my life rests in palm of her hands, Like time through her fingers, Like falling sands.

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mean 5.00 weighted 5.00 rank 7539 views 178 View voting details →

8 votes so far. Yours would make 9.8 votes so far

7 comments

[6] Robert K Foster 12-Jun-03/5:05 AM Reply
tends to ramble.
[n/a] Kitch › Robert K Foster 12-Jun-03/5:54 AM Reply
I agree Robert a 6 is fair. I wrote this a while ago and I wish I found this site when most of my work was written because i rate critique as it improves you as a writer so thanks for your comment.

Please tell me the lines you liked and the ones that are a waste of time.
[6] horus8 12-Jun-03/9:35 AM Reply
Heeker, is a hermetic geek that leaks.

No, it means, not to shabby.

But if you ever fucking 6 my prostitute series again
I'll fucking bring the heek and cook it over your abdomen in jerk sauce with rice pilaf and eat pudding out of your arm pits Kitch, I'm serious, you are not a good enough writer yet to six my prostitute series. I will let you know when you are, trust me.
Now this poem above me is a perfect example of a six, there is a difference between a 7 and a six, Kitch this is a six.
[n/a] Kitch › horus8 12-Jun-03/1:11 PM Reply
Hey Horus8

I will never leave you alone with your prostitutes but point taken I know I have a lot to learn I'm 19 and I have come here to learn from the masters. Mona Lisa (who referred me) is scared of this site bless her ! I welsome any comment, insult, praise whatever bring it on...so long as i learn my souls up for sale.

thanks for your comment.
[n/a] <{Baba^Yaga}> › Kitch 12-Jun-03/4:57 PM Reply
I see, I hope you learn fast, and are willing to pay your dues unlike these other weekend poets. Because if you are serious about poetry, this is the place to be. There are some powerfully imaginative writers here, so we'll see, won't we.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. 12-Jun-03/5:38 PM Reply
"Fate: why don't you just shit off?" (Free Verse) by -=Dark_Angel=-

I have mixed feelings about fate,
So I'm going to use this line to rhyme it with hate.
Have faith in it,
Because if the previous line made any sense,
Then it wouldn't sound like a load of complete balls.
blah blah blah something always falls.
[7] thepinkbunnyofdoom 17-Jun-03/1:26 PM Reply
Kitch, Take my advice, lose the ryhme. Sometimes it works for you but most often it hampers, instead of helping your poems. It just tend to hold them back. Nice image "drown in sunshine on the lake" by the way. -7-