Replying to a comment on:

Fate Sucks (Free verse) by Kitch

Everyone has their last place on earth they avoid. Well fate packed my suitcase and its overjoyed. Fate plays its hand and we always follow, But as the game gets harder it gets harder to swallow. We play a safe hand, Fate likes to gamble, Fate is ambitious, Its nature vicious, We have limitations, Whereas fates is substantial. I have mixed feelings about fate, It’s a relationship of love and hate. Have faith in it, Yes never see what what I wait for, And if she calls, My heart always falls, And that’s what fates for. I can’t accept a relationship of give and take, For I want to give my world, All of me, So she can fall with me, And drown in sunshine on the lake. I want to recite the balcony scene from Romeo and Juliet, Look in to her eyes so she’ll never forget, That my life rests in palm of her hands, Like time through her fingers, Like falling sands.

thepinkbunnyofdoom 17-Jun-03/1:26 PM
Kitch, Take my advice, lose the ryhme. Sometimes it works for you but most often it hampers, instead of helping your poems. It just tend to hold them back. Nice image "drown in sunshine on the lake" by the way. -7-




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001