poemranker ::Friends Forever by x311

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Free verse № 5193

Friends Forever

Member since 2002 · Posted 18 Jul 2002 · 4 comments

Silver tongued demon Speaking smoothly in my ear Telling me what I want to hear While you tear me apart from the inside You know me so well Been with me for quite a while Flashing your white-toothed smile But the whole time, you've lied Weakening my defenses You are ripping down my wall As I heed your every beck and call You've used me as my heart has cried Making me feel comfortable You use my weaknesses against me Almost ready to unleash your fury Pandora's Box, now untied The time has come I finally give in to your demands Unimaginable things now done by my hands Dark thoughts wash in with the tide Entirely consumed I don't care about anything Because of this serpent's sting Nothing left but an empty shell, completely fried.

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mean 4.29 weighted 4.81 rank 11007 views 235 View voting details →

7 votes so far. Yours would make 8.7 votes so far

4 comments

[6] horus8 26-Jul-02/2:36 PM Reply
in a word explain the difference between "just writing", and "poetry" shaman, witchdocter, here is one for you if you're temporarily confounded "Zeitgeist". u can $@% until my thing chaffe, nice poame.t
[n/a] x311 27-Jul-02/7:56 AM Reply
thanks for commmenting horus8. i enjoy getting feedback, but could you please explain yours? I guess I just don't understand. Thanks.
[6] horus8 27-Jul-02/8:37 AM Reply
simple really like Rimbaud i fell all writing is poetry even if your using shit or blood structure is irrelevant when story matter counts
[4] <~> 14-Aug-02/9:35 PM Reply
uneven rhyme weakens this, as does lack of detail