Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

A Perfectly Reasonable Question (Free verse) by baughworm
"There is really nothing more to say-- except for why. But since why is difficult to handle, must take refuge in how." --Toni Morrison Through the keyhole I saw your bare back Arching, Writhing, Glistening His knobby hands Riding your hips Like a coin operated Horse at the supermarket. I wait At our kitchen table, With a one word question That you will dance around And ultimately fail to Answer.

Up the ladder: The Dreamer
Down the ladder: The End OF Me

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 54
.. 02
.. 32
.. 40
.. 11
.. 20
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 21
.. 23

Arithmetic Mean: 6.151515
Weighted score: 6.151129
Overall Rank: 1061
Posted: June 6, 2003 1:19 PM PDT; Last modified: June 6, 2003 1:19 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 6-Jun-03/1:25 PM | Reply
Is the question "Tea?"?

Waiting at the kitchen table to tell someone off is one of the worst things in the world.
I thought of it more as a kid waiting to ask why his (or her) parents were doing it. I think it's the keyhole thing that made me think child.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.139 > OneFingerAnswer | 6-Jun-03/5:07 PM | Reply
I think underneath all that innocence, kids really do know. Us "adults" on the otherhand........
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > OneFingerAnswer | 6-Jun-03/5:24 PM | Reply
I think it's probably more that your mind is counter evaluating everything but couples currently due to your recent love loss. At least that's what a Jew shrink would tell you for 200.00 bucks per half hour anyway, because I can't see what you're seeing, unless you mean the kid catching the mom cheating, but even that's a far reach. You're just in denial's all. lol.
[8] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 > horus8 | 6-Jun-03/5:41 PM | Reply
Thanks JB but I really did see it as a kid cause of the keyhole. What adult goes around looking through keyholes? If this were a guy that was full grown in the poem he'd likely bust in and throw a fit, not go sit down and make tea.
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > OneFingerAnswer | 6-Jun-03/8:21 PM | Reply
A) i do. lol (peeker)

b) not if your a refined scholar as the likes of da, or christof, or p&k the'd be civil and finish their toast before calling their accountant then lawyer. Because they are learnded men of the clothe.
[n/a] baughworm @ 216.196.160.249 > OneFingerAnswer | 7-Jun-03/12:36 PM | Reply
I didn't mean for it to be a kid, but keyhole seemed to fit better than any other way of catching your lover cheating on you. If you can give any ideas i would appreciate it.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.139 > horus8 | 7-Jun-03/6:48 AM | Reply
my point exactly.
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 6-Jun-03/5:37 PM | Reply
That's where we differ than. Other than beastiality and extreme unction aside, naturally.
[10] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 6-Jun-03/4:45 PM | Reply
GQT award. Fucking awesome poem, hands down.
[n/a] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 6-Jun-03/4:51 PM | Reply
Col. Mustard in the Bedroom with the Wank Harness.
[10] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.46 | 6-Jun-03/5:08 PM | Reply
(click) goes the numerator.
[10] DurtKL @ 68.75.22.92 | 7-Jun-03/12:43 PM | Reply
snowflakes falling into a dead squirrels mouth
like paratroopers on d - day

great poem baughworm
we should write another poem 2gether some day
[7] zzinnia66 @ 64.252.90.210 | 7-Jun-03/2:18 PM | Reply
usually, one glimpses into a room through a not-quite-closed door. could it be that in her haste, she thought she had shut it? and it creaked open, but she failed to notice it since her focus was elsewhere?

otherwise, quite strong.
[n/a] baughworm @ 216.196.160.249 > zzinnia66 | 7-Jun-03/3:20 PM | Reply
Thank you
[8] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 > baughworm | 7-Jun-03/8:20 PM | Reply
She had a good suggestion. Another way you could go with it is that he sees some evidence of what's going on, clothing in the hall or something like that, and he simply sees the images in his mind instead of actually seeing it.
[7] zzinnia66 @ 64.252.90.210 > OneFingerAnswer | 7-Jun-03/9:41 PM | Reply
clothing in the hall is good. keys on the counter.
a pack of cigarettes--not her brand.

[8] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 > zzinnia66 | 7-Jun-03/9:43 PM | Reply
I like the cigarettes. Maybe she could actually make it to the table and be smoking one too....

Sorry we're slowly rewriting your poem.
[5] Robert K Foster @ 209.68.66.56 | 9-Jun-03/12:27 PM | Reply
his knobby hands riding your hips?

I'm confused by this image,

like a coin operated horse at the supermarket?
that implies a climbing on, straddling motion, which confuses me, wouldn't the woman be straddling? Not the man's hands...
I'm confused.

I like the poem, but I am confused.
[n/a] baughworm @ 216.196.164.143 > Robert K Foster | 9-Jun-03/9:54 PM | Reply
I didn't mean straddling, but simply the mechanical rocking motion of the horse. I used the horse because it has that straddling associated with it, but more directly I was only going for the actual rocking motion.

Thanks
[n/a] spank me baby yeah @ 62.105.88.10 | 10-Jun-03/4:40 AM | Reply
This is average thats all how it got top fuck knows. 5
[7] Kitch @ 62.105.88.10 | 12-Jun-03/1:43 AM | Reply
Pretty damn fine pie mam. 7
309 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001