poemranker ::Immortal Coil by Exiled_humanity

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Free verse № 49901

Immortal Coil

Member since 2003 · Posted 22 May 2003 · 2 comments

Life does it mean anything anymore, The more of it I see, The more I find it's painful and sore, Whats the fleshes fee? Does it put a hole in my spirital core? The flesh is mortal, The bone is skeletal, The brain is mental, The soul is eternal, Which one in living do we hurt more? Teared flesh heals, But it leaves you scarred, Broken bones mend, Though it leaves you harmed, Insane brains are cured, But it does leave you flawed, Your spirit is subjected to an eternal pain, Is its damage ever cleansed? Is that why when time goes on, The more immoral songs have been sung, Are our souls stung, With the things that life has done? How do we heal this hurt, Surely it can't be done in lifes dirt. How do we stop the hurt, That is my only thought.

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mean 2.00 weighted 4.64 rank 12339 views 122 View voting details →

3 votes so far. Yours would make 4.3 votes so far

2 comments

[n/a] Bill Z Bub 23-May-03/12:37 AM Reply
I believe it should be:

*flesh's* fee

*Torn* flesh heals

*life's* dirt

That is all. Go on about your business.
[2] horus8 23-May-03/1:58 AM Reply
Super! Could you make it third person next edit? Because,I believe it would strengthen your, for shit, grammar, and make the reader even more fucking tired.