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“Death To Doughboy” (Other) by The Martyr
Crispy flaky tender tasty crust To nibble on the doughboy is a must Watch him lay still his face in its last pose O' so tasty even the toes Firm Yet Delicate o what a treat The Pillsbury doughboy is a must to eat I found him in my kitchen baking a lovely cake Angry for all my flour he did take I grabbed his raw hand and spanked him well Just right then my hunger did swell He used all my food and my tummy was randy I thought the dough boy would do just dandy I lubed up the pan with my free hand I told the doughboy that I hoped he'd understand I opened the oven and put him in He tried to escape but he could not win He realized his faith and laid very still I began to rejoice in my fresh kill 6 more minutes until I engage in my feast Does killing the doughboy make me a beast? I took him out of the oven to cool off as the directions said Then when he was ready I bit off his head In ecstasy I was with the very first bite A treat so yummy could it be right Yes it can because only the strong survive And unlike Pillsbury I’m still alive I nibbled on his torso and decided to save the rest This meal I’ve just had is by far the best I want some tomorrow and the day after next I will tell of my triumph through my latest text In rhymes I shall tell of my new feet And from now on when you're hungry look for a doughboy to eat

Up the ladder: Kites In My Sky
Down the ladder: long time no write

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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7734
Posted: May 9, 2003 7:38 PM PDT; Last modified: May 9, 2003 7:38 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 10-May-03/11:40 AM | Reply
At least this had a point, and I can dig that, but your others fucking suck. 7.
[n/a] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215 | 10-May-03/11:47 AM | Reply
If you rewrote this as a homoerotic seafaring epic it would be the best thing ever.
[7] deleted user @ 67.73.182.59 | 11-May-03/6:05 PM | Reply
hillarious
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