poemranker ::My Blues by thepinkbunnyofdoom

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Lyric № 47603

My Blues

Member since 2003 · Posted 21 Apr 2003 · 3 comments

Lost in maze Staring thru the midnight haze No clue where I am Feel like the world doesn't give a damn The blues seeping thru my window Filling me with sorrow Seems that every night it rains With that same sad refrain You ain't going nowhere Don't nobody care So I lit up myself and a square Say to God are you there? Lady lucks using me once again Playing my heart strings like a mandolin Bleed thru the pain Images smack thru my brain The fire in my eyes Once again I watch as it dies And stars that surround my skull Get crushed by the ant’s mandible So I’ll sing once again That sad sad refrain You aint going nowhere Don’t know body care No you ain't going nowhere Don’t no body care

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mean 7.75 weighted 7.01 rank 65 views 257 View voting details →

12 votes so far. Yours would make 13.12 votes so far

3 comments

[6] Mr Pig (again) 21-Apr-03/12:17 PM Reply
When I read this I thought my oh my this damsel seems lost between a loyalty to the rhyme scheme and the narrative. My dear experiment with both avoiding each for each poem e.g write a poem purely on rhyme or story not both. You are eager and an aspiring writer with potential but focus is all you need, then really go for the subject matter with your best literary gusto. 6
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › Mr Pig (again) 21-Apr-03/7:11 PM Reply
Umm... Well for starters thanks for the advice. I'm not female tho and This was just free versing ryhme with no focus. I'm glad you think I have potential!!
:)
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom › thepinkbunnyofdoom 28-Jun-03/11:28 PM Reply
Previous comment says it all. Well other than that I'm not really black or even old enough to truly experiance the blues yet.