Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

My Blues (Lyric) by thepinkbunnyofdoom
Lost in maze Staring thru the midnight haze No clue where I am Feel like the world doesn't give a damn The blues seeping thru my window Filling me with sorrow Seems that every night it rains With that same sad refrain You ain't going nowhere Don't nobody care So I lit up myself and a square Say to God are you there? Lady lucks using me once again Playing my heart strings like a mandolin Bleed thru the pain Images smack thru my brain The fire in my eyes Once again I watch as it dies And stars that surround my skull Get crushed by the ant’s mandible So I’ll sing once again That sad sad refrain You aint going nowhere Don’t know body care No you ain't going nowhere Don’t no body care

Up the ladder: Who am I?
Down the ladder: Secret Identities Revealed

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 43
.. 10
.. 01
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 20

Arithmetic Mean: 7.75
Weighted score: 7.0104113
Overall Rank: 71
Posted: April 21, 2003 10:20 AM PDT; Last modified: April 21, 2003 10:20 AM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[6] Mr Pig (again) @ 195.92.168.163 | 21-Apr-03/12:17 PM | Reply
When I read this I thought my oh my this damsel seems lost between a loyalty to the rhyme scheme and the narrative. My dear experiment with both avoiding each for each poem e.g write a poem purely on rhyme or story not both. You are eager and an aspiring writer with potential but focus is all you need, then really go for the subject matter with your best literary gusto. 6
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 > Mr Pig (again) | 21-Apr-03/7:11 PM | Reply
Umm... Well for starters thanks for the advice. I'm not female tho and This was just free versing ryhme with no focus. I'm glad you think I have potential!!
:)
[n/a] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.21.223 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 28-Jun-03/11:28 PM | Reply
Previous comment says it all. Well other than that I'm not really black or even old enough to truly experiance the blues yet.
257 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001