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Fix it (Sonnet) by Nanshe
With objectification reserved for my fetish, Tiring of the need was the only salvo. When I first forayed into pain as a cure-- An accelerant with an seductive allure-- I needed it like a drug, although The thought of it made you squeamish. You gave me exactly what I wanted, Something you wouldn’t choose on your own-- Pushing boundaries of pain-shaped skin, You submitted and were made again. Hard to soft and flesh to bone You bore my harsh caresses undaunted. But partnering me became a chore That your dear flesh chose not to endure.

Up the ladder: Fresh faced Danger-Teen

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Arithmetic Mean: 6.857143
Weighted score: 5.4994626
Overall Rank: 2726
Posted: April 7, 2003 7:03 PM PDT; Last modified: April 7, 2003 7:03 PM PDT
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Comments:
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 7-Apr-03/11:30 PM | Reply
that's a fucking aneurysm my friend, totally unfixable. however you did a wonderful job complicating an uncomplicated and ancient structure (sonnets) and that's got to count for something somewhere. and the unaccessability of the piece? also, right off the fucking charts. Great job.
[n/a] <~> @ 167.206.181.179 > horus8 | 8-Apr-03/8:04 AM | Reply
a spoon for your sonnet, sir?
[9] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.46 | 8-Apr-03/6:16 AM | Reply
Did we take a liberty on the style here? I know of 2. This seems altered. Excellent topic.
[n/a] Nanshe @ 167.206.181.179 > INTRANSIT | 8-Apr-03/7:35 AM | Reply
Yes. Well, the subject seemed to require something of a deviance, and so, I fixed on abccba deffed gg. Technically, still a sonnet. But not a named form.
[9] INTRANSIT @ 64.12.96.46 | 8-Apr-03/6:17 AM | Reply
Um, how long to this point? If I may?
[n/a] Nanshe @ 167.206.181.179 > INTRANSIT | 8-Apr-03/7:33 AM | Reply
A pearl in a parable, for you, Sir:

Henri Matisse once overheard a man at a Salon critiquing one of his paper cuttings. The man was exclaiming at length at the outrageous price of the, in his opinion, childish simplicity of the artwork. He compared it at length to some of the complex and highly realistic oil paintings that must have taken days to complete. Exasperated, the man asked Matisse how long it had taken him to execute the "art." Matisse smiled and answered, "Sixty years."

[n/a] Nanshe @ 167.206.181.179 > INTRANSIT | 8-Apr-03/7:34 AM | Reply
90 minutes.
213 view(s)




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