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So Happy (Free verse) by openwounds
Do you ever feel abandoned?
So lost and lonely .
You want to pass away .
You want to hide away .
Disregard all the problems that
worry you
Can you do that ;
Can you take a gun
and shoot yourself?
Can you take a knife
and cut yourself?
Will you whimper
and beg for release ?
Liberate yourself from all the
Tender wounds that are
Opened everyday.
New lesions on my heart.
Scars that will never go away.
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Arithmetic Mean: 3.75
Weighted score: 4.8509965
Overall Rank: 10525
Posted: March 24, 2003 1:11 PM PST; Last modified: March 24, 2003 1:11 PM PST
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Comments:
137 view(s)
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Now being serious I noticed 'new lesions'. Other than that I it doesn't look like you have any typos that I can see. This lacks you usual hint of detail that makes things what you write have some sense of depth, But I love how you pulled off the 'will you whimper and beg for release' line. -7-