poemranker ::Fleeting Fantasy by Sawa

DetailsThe poem, its numbers, and the conversation.

Free verse № 45068

Fleeting Fantasy

by Sawa

Member since 2002 · Posted 22 Mar 2003 · Edited 23 Mar 2003 · 2 comments

Unraveled resistance And disappearing clothes Skin kneaded with warm hands Thighs beneath fingers shaped Into melting handfuls of flesh Arms bound in tight embrace Worldly taste of your ruby lips Promises mended with begging gasps Knife from my back extracted and Trembling with the power of action I use your slick stomach as a sheath Burying finality where it belongs You've come back to me

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mean 5.60 weighted 5.07 rank 6538 views 171 View voting details →

5 votes so far. Yours would make 6.5 votes so far

2 comments

[5] <~> 23-Mar-03/8:03 PM Reply
well, what a nice little can of worms you have here.
it's bitter withour being brutal; it uses a cliche here and there, but upends them.

but, somehow, i wanted you to act. you're still a victim, in this piece. stab, or walk, or something!

returning is no panacea: the poem, it dies.
[5] thepinkbunnyofdoom 24-Mar-03/12:17 AM Reply
Hmmm... Amazing. I have given every below a 5 and above it but I have never read a peom that left me felling neutral towards it. So congrats you get my first -5-.