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Fleeting Fantasy (Free verse) by Sawa
Unraveled resistance And disappearing clothes Skin kneaded with warm hands Thighs beneath fingers shaped Into melting handfuls of flesh Arms bound in tight embrace Worldly taste of your ruby lips Promises mended with begging gasps Knife from my back extracted and Trembling with the power of action I use your slick stomach as a sheath Burying finality where it belongs You've come back to me

Up the ladder: Too Much
Down the ladder: Bleeding in binary

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.6
Weighted score: 5.0715218
Overall Rank: 6542
Posted: March 22, 2003 11:36 PM PST; Last modified: March 23, 2003 11:37 PM PST
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Comments:
[5] <~> @ 172.152.101.214 | 23-Mar-03/8:03 PM | Reply
well, what a nice little can of worms you have here.
it's bitter withour being brutal; it uses a cliche here and there, but upends them.

but, somehow, i wanted you to act. you're still a victim, in this piece. stab, or walk, or something!

returning is no panacea: the poem, it dies.
[5] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 24.209.19.37 | 24-Mar-03/12:17 AM | Reply
Hmmm... Amazing. I have given every below a 5 and above it but I have never read a peom that left me felling neutral towards it. So congrats you get my first -5-.
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