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A Tale of Peter Pan (Free verse) by NewbieMe
Peter Pan wants to be a man He told Wendy about his plan We will fly away from never never land And go back to where we came from I no longer want to be a boy in the pages of this book I'm tired of defeating the pirates and captain hook I want to go back the real world Where people are born and they grow old I can't wait for my first sip of wine To light my first ciggy and dine To form clouds of smoke While I sit still and joke I'll be a handsome man i know I'll even grow a mustache right under my nose And you Wendy will grow to be a lovely woman For you Wendy I'll be a gentleman I'll take you out on a date We'll dance, go places at hours so late Tell me Wendy wouldn't it be great? For you and I to go out on a wonderful date? Wendy answered "I don't know, and on the same note i don't think so" You will always be a boy trap in this book You will constantly defeat the pirates and the hook Try as you may you will never grow old You can never get away because your future has been foretold

Up the ladder: Slow motion
Down the ladder: Isolate

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.75
Weighted score: 5.201706
Overall Rank: 4536
Posted: March 10, 2003 1:59 AM PST; Last modified: March 10, 2003 1:59 AM PST
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Comments:
[10] thepinkbunnyofdoom @ 66.213.67.10 | 10-Mar-03/2:09 PM | Reply
Damn cigarette advertisers got to petey too eh? Great job I enjoyed this one. -10-
[n/a] NewbieMe @ 202.57.93.78 > thepinkbunnyofdoom | 11-Mar-03/10:37 PM | Reply
wow another 10 :P thanks
[6] OneFingerAnswer @ 216.138.10.3 | 11-Mar-03/2:12 AM | Reply
I don't really like Wendy's answer. I also don't like that they know they're characters in a book. Maybe if you made is something that actually worked with the way the story goes (He escapes for a while but then gets pulled back in a la Hook) Wendy's answer would be better. Just having her tell him that he can't change things doesn't work for me.

By the way "trap" in the 4th line from the end should be "trapped"
[n/a] NewbieMe @ 202.57.93.78 > OneFingerAnswer | 11-Mar-03/10:34 PM | Reply
thank you for the comment, will think about that :)
[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.103 | 12-Mar-03/12:59 AM | Reply
There once was some aids in a Newbie,
Who suckled it out of a Doobie.
In terror he cried,
"Oh no! I shall die!
And I've never seen any Boobies!"
[n/a] NewbieMe @ 202.57.93.78 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 12-Mar-03/1:10 AM | Reply
wow!!! for me? thanks, very creative :)
[n/a] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 > -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. | 12-Mar-03/2:04 AM | Reply
If you composed music like you write limericks... You'd still suck.
[0] -=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.8.101 > horus8 | 12-Mar-03/2:54 AM | Reply
dude i do
listen to this
http://www.angelfire.com/jazz/aidsmobile
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