| Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments |
|
Steel Wire Frame (Free verse) by celiff My heart is merely a cage,
For everything I wish to jail there.
Some of its prisoners will never leave for they are content;
While I pray that some never escape to face me.
Safely, my God stays there protected for the outside world,
Protecting me because I know he is always there.
While commonly my sympathy escapes and runs freely-
To freely for some who might call me overly sentimental.
My courage, is not what it should be
Because I have never been able to gather it all...
Yet.
Captured!, is the rage of a teen in anguish,
which has resided there for far too long
But I can't deal with it now,
Even though my heart is hindered by it so..
And in the corner is a lavished cell
Always kept ready,
For the day I may capture love.
My heart is merely a cage,
In simpler terms
A steel wire frame
Battered and bruised,from the world I live in,
and all it's pain,
But is not yet broken,
Because it is held together by the strength of hope.
Up the ladder:
Again
Down the ladder:
Meeting Fronts
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.0
Posted: March 5, 2003 8:05 PM PST; Last modified: March 5, 2003 8:05 PM PSTWeighted score: 4.880797 Overall Rank: 10198 Comments:
[6]
Jeremi B. Handrinos @ 24.126.113.154
|
5-Mar-03/8:45 PM
|
Reply
Like a slinky twist tied together at both ends? Once when i was younger i landed in a crate full of bottles with no shoes on. While playing ping pong. It piled a huge amout of resentment in my sole (later in life) and made me realise how important my feets was. Along with loud bells to ring for toadies. And grilled cheese with high fever.
What have I become? I can't even say a mean thing about this poem because I think Settle probably wrote it. Settle probably writes half the overwrought bullshit on poemranker.
HAVING SAID THAT, HERE ARE SOME MISTAKES THAT YOU MADE. 1. Your heart is not a cage. It is a pump. 2. God is not protected. The idea of God being protected is a contradiction, since it implies that He could be in danger. 3. "To freely" is wrong. 4. Putting a comma after "My courage" is wrong. 5. Putting a comma after a motherfucking exclamation point is wrong. 6. Shut the fuck up. 7. It's "its", not "it's". Thanks for your time! Your poem is awful. 115 view(s)
|
||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||||
