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Sheep---(Cross Rhyming) (Free verse) by shwenatjadeflower
This is a new style of poetry i'm trying out. Tell me what you think. You see a person in the hall. You're staring. Don't see where you're going, Trip and fall. He turns his head and sees you. You now see It was not meant to be: hes laughing and you hear something about tying your shoe. The other boys think he's cool. He listens to rock. They call him a jock. They start listening to Tool. Soon he's one of the MVP's. They say "cool way of talking" and "cool way of walking" Now all the boys are copies. Now, individuals are few. They all wear Abercrombie and Fitch. Once he called you a bitch. Now they all do. Stupid Sheep.

Up the ladder: I like Cake

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 5.0
Weighted score: 5.0
Overall Rank: 7486
Posted: July 12, 2002 11:33 AM PDT; Last modified: July 12, 2002 11:33 AM PDT
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Comments:
[4] deleted user @ 64.12.96.71 | 12-Jul-02/11:56 AM | Reply
Nice effort, however never use abbreviations in your writing if you wish to one day publish. Keep up the good work.
[n/a] deleted user @ 68.12.170.240 | 12-Jul-02/12:14 PM | Reply
cool jade cool
[n/a] shwenatjadeflower @ | 12-Jul-02/12:29 PM | Reply
thank you for saying its cool jenn
[n/a] deleted user @ 68.12.170.240 | 12-Jul-02/12:31 PM | Reply
no prob! ur me best bud ya know!
[8] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 12-Jul-02/12:55 PM | Reply
Timid sheep lay waiting on slick grassed meadows. While starving wolves race from tree to tree in drueling apprehension.
[6] Isis @ 66.13.194.134 | 12-Jul-02/9:48 PM | Reply
Nice message.
[7] deleted user @ 65.101.240.23 | 13-Jul-02/2:23 AM | Reply
been there, hon
[5] deleted user @ 64.123.118.64 | 13-Jul-02/3:30 PM | Reply
This poem reminded me of one I read called " He's so cool he stops at green lights " or something like that, maybe it's the rhythm. Anyway, good job!
[7] Christof @ 195.172.133.226 | 23-Aug-02/3:18 AM | Reply
Don't listen to the stuff about abbreviations - MVP's really works here with copies. The rhyme of cool and Tool is funny as well. This has real bite.
173 view(s)




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