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remembering you (Free verse) by sapphire_rain7 i want to go to bed tonight
and dream of hot summer
the moon's white light
feel your skin
and taste your sweat
the best of you
i haven't seen yet
and i never will
i'm afraid, love
you're gone forever
and the willows weep
this cold rain
doesn't wash away
humid kisses,
wet hands,
clinging memories,
and words unsaid
Up the ladder:
Daughter
Down the ladder:
Painting
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.6
Posted: July 11, 2002 8:33 PM PDT; Last modified: July 11, 2002 8:33 PM PDTWeighted score: 5.3 Overall Rank: 3683 Comments:
[8]
pkdrunner @ 64.229.249.254
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11-Jul-02/8:41 PM
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Reply
i like the atmosphere you have created...i wonder is there a way to convey how you got so close but not close enough? Is the regret that you convey so well just the result of a chance death or decisions made?
in love, you never seem to get close enough. especially when the one you love is so evasive. there was always stuff below the surface i could never quite reach. and because of that i made several huge mistakes. love is definently a double edged sword.
You capture love in all its complexity so well.
"and the willows weep/this cold rain/doesn't wash away" Always good when a middle line pertains to both what preceeds and what proceeds. Sexy poem.
I think this is rather good!
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