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Mebi (Free verse) by ==Doylum
Your spirit is as light as a floaty thing you are lovelier than a thing that is lovely your eyes are as sparkly as something what sparkles alot and your smile is as turny uppy as a pair of chinos but not as yellow your hair is as yellow as very yellow corn cept when you dye it when its as black as a very black night like when the stars arn't out You nose is retruse like a twinkly stars arms but not as pointy your aunty makes nice cakes your skin is a soft as a very soft material perhaps velvet but not as furry and not purple like most velvet is your bottom is pert like a puppy but not one of those pug dog ones I like your legs as well Your fingers are like dead nice and not fat like fat sausage fingers what some girls have and your hands are wee just like a really wee lovely pretty thing Your breasts are quite small but i quite like small breasts Big ones get in the way like lots of pastry on the outside of a custard slice My poem is gooder than a goodboy what has done well at scholl I like you like somebody who likes donuts a lot


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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
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Arithmetic Mean: 6.090909
Weighted score: 5.5454545
Overall Rank: 2496
Posted: February 12, 2003 9:01 AM PST; Last modified: February 12, 2003 9:01 AM PST
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Comments:
[8] TanHand @ 68.14.26.239 | 12-Feb-03/10:11 AM | Reply
Like something I would do. Good work.
[10] Bachus @ 24.126.113.154 | 12-Feb-03/6:03 PM | Reply
BACHIAN SWAGGER AWARDE, along with a bag of chirpes and a crease for your chino's. Did you know i went to Chino high. too. nice pants10!o
[9] Ranger @ 81.132.2.157 | 16-Feb-03/12:18 AM | Reply
So descriptive! Hee hee hee...9 for laughter...and because there's not a nine yet.
[8] lastobelus @ 217.226.19.245 | 9-Mar-03/3:46 PM | Reply
delightful...
I love line 7, "twinkly stars arms"
I think the last line could have more oomph, because I read bukowski too much and have this last-line thing
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