Help | About | Suggestions | Alms | Chat [0] | Users [0] | Log In | Join
 Search:
Poem: Submit | Random | Best | Worst | Recent | Comments   

CoffeeNoBody (Free verse) by webguy
indulge drink dance smoke and cafe walk afterwards among these smells, where dances are but shadows of emotions where every beat and bent is a hidden lustful gaze nothing godly and moral remains: everyone is on the lookout i forget that you are you, and that everyone else around has a name they are all but skin under the wave cover of the pulsating lights and rippling throbs of addictive booms, screams and steps --- its all drowning, this friday night ritual that is us but we carry them through knowing how artificial smiles they are, how very practical names and lifestories have we become how disposable partners we have all been how is it that our coffee is never the same? never the kick that was after the blast no body passionate enough to hug the toungue or any aroma to touch the palate

Up the ladder: Forever Untitled.
Down the ladder: The Price in December

You must be logged in to leave comments. Vote:

Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 00
.. 10
.. 30
.. 10
.. 00
.. 01
.. 01
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 5.7777777
Weighted score: 5.388889
Overall Rank: 3196
Posted: July 10, 2002 5:05 PM PDT; Last modified: July 10, 2002 5:05 PM PDT
View voting details
Comments:
[7] horus8 @ 24.126.113.154 | 12-Jul-02/5:59 PM | Reply
The Witches rave, I'm Jeff Buckley's slave
[8] -=SeTTle=- @ 63.214.98.27 | 30-Jul-02/8:07 PM | Reply
I agree.
[9] Sigh'ense... @ 63.210.112.184 | 30-Jul-02/8:14 PM | Reply
Man that poem was 'STUPID BANANAS',
w/ a starbucks twist on the nightlife that was just JUICY CRAZY... Da1 said to be heard
[n/a] webguy @ | 1-Aug-02/1:44 PM | Reply
i thought so too my self it's just that it is so common a fakery that you can identify it. I'm not professing great poetry if that's what you call it...its just an emotional explosion.

the fact that it ellicited a reaction from you makes it a recognizable and thus, Human (not artificially-crafted) experience
[8] god'swife @ 209.179.135.160 | 25-Aug-02/10:29 AM | Reply
The use of the nouns as adjectives in lines 14 - 16 is inventive and works well. It conveyed to me the sense of seperation between body and soul. The 'are but' in line 2, and the 'are all but'in line 6, sound archaic in this contemporary poem. Maybe you placed it there as a contrast. It does kind of weigh the piece down a little. the last stanza ties the everything together. Nice train of thought. 8
156 view(s)




Track and Plan your submissions ; Read some Comics ; Get Paid for your Poetry
PoemRanker Copyright © 2001 - 2024 - kaolin fire - All Rights Reserved
All poems Copyright © their respective authors
An internet tradition since June 9, 2001