god'swife25 Aug 2002

The use of the nouns as adjectives in lines 14 - 16 is inventive and works well. It conveyed to me the sense of seperation between body and soul. The 'are but' in line 2, and the 'are all but'in line 6, sound archaic in this contemporary poem. Maybe you placed it there as a contrast. It does kind of weigh the piece down a little. the last stanza ties the everything together. Nice train of thought. 8