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3.85g (Free verse) by Crakyamuni
The void is inside and out it pushed me down stole my pride attempting to leave me dead inside From the void she could not run or hide only sit, shit ,vomit, or die you see the VOID is not dead inside feeding on conciousness like and endless feast the void is lord and conqueror of the darkest of beast trying to e-qu@te function to form this void is a vagabond and hardly the norm Far removed from what the mind can see this void is dead in you and me?

Down the ladder: Mother Earth

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Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
 GraphVotes
10  .. 11
.. 00
.. 00
.. 01
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10
.. 00
.. 00
.. 00
.. 10

Arithmetic Mean: 6.2
Weighted score: 5.1430435
Overall Rank: 5356
Posted: January 25, 2003 10:19 AM PST; Last modified: January 25, 2003 10:19 AM PST
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Comments:
[n/a] Bill Z Bub @ 24.112.224.232 | 25-Jan-03/7:08 PM | Reply
liked the first two stanzas, but the second half lost me.
[4] nentwined @ 66.92.183.34 | 26-Jan-03/4:20 AM | Reply
hmm. could use some grammar/spelling work imo. curious what the g is -- before looking at the poem, I expected it to mean gravities. could also use some cliche work, and rhythm.
[10] deleted user @ 152.163.188.228 | 26-Jan-03/7:23 AM | Reply
i think the whole thing is great, 10
174 view(s)




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