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power (Free verse) by flatliner i see you look at me
a flurry of emotion clouds my eye
and if i thought i'd sit peacefully
my heart didn't even try
so there was the start
it was the day caught by rain
we shared a table and my heart
the precursor to the pain.
Up the ladder:
The musician
Down the ladder:
Blossoms
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 5.888889
Posted: July 10, 2002 8:13 AM PDT; Last modified: July 10, 2002 8:13 AM PDTWeighted score: 5.4444447 Overall Rank: 2974 Comments:
[4]
limonade @ 198.164.250.97
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13-Aug-02/11:29 AM
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Reply
Good rhythm. Try to put some images in. Poetry should stimulate the senses.
*8*
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