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Excommunication by inch of candle - Jesus wants me for a bum ream. An narrative in so many verses that madam palms readings have been savarlay curtailed (Other) by ==Doylum
Upon an face of melted wax
from hands bereft of skill, and lax
was placed an tuber from the holy city
what did he think? 'twas game and witty?
and either side this shambolic start
(an travesty to choke the heart)
were set two orbs whose sizes vary
their gaze maliciously contrary
Then sat atop this head of shame -
a blaze to mock the brightest flame
Was built as an raging spitting pyre
With consequences cruel and dyre
and hanging from misshapen tallow
a misrigged henge bent and sallow
as pagan as an hot cross bun
ungodly as all those who bum?
should we string them up as well?
forgive me if on this I dwell
'tis a subject on which thought do fall
lynch or line against the wall
their rosy shining glistening globes
how could one think of camels toes?
a line of inviting asteroidea
oh good Christ I've gone to far
please excuse my rash confession
no mortal sentence pass on my transgression
death denounced this day
don't string me up because I'm gay
To set this thing into the world
with aches and pains as yet unfurled
could ominprescient fail so balefully
t'was't done with disregard, alefully?
The years as tot were tense & fraught
a single soul to love was sought
yet perfect flames ran in revulsion
peeked through spires with dread compulsion
In time the dismal dripping cast
left little Lucifer's unaghast
point and poke with ink smudged finger
waxy imprints befoul and linger
The only saving grace it seems
was out upon the field of dreams
white hot dribbler when pushed and harried
yet still no love though 'team he carried
and out upon the ways and means
did matters sway to less obscene?
oh no my friend the sun would cower
betwixt such dreaded thatch look dour
did t'bottle keep the flames at bay?
alas! more drunk than Jesus on Sunday
but none would line up, take the host
did ne'r get past the starting post
t'was't any wonder sparks would leap
that wax would grow devour and creep
into a shape none dare ignore
in case it mark their furniture
coasters now in short supply
all hell let loose - sideboards fry
even aunty Joan did flicker
to chat and scones with the vicar.
Constabulary with their batons raised
could never be more highly praised
than when stamping an most appropriate seal
all thanks I think, to Mr Peel!
better battered than a Scottish mars
was't meant to be? behind cold bars?
from all a vicious sentence sort
for a crime of this import
the pickled judge withered and callous
summing up with bile and malice
as if to mock his Bentlys swing
brought forth that sentence once again
but as the wick-ed one does dangly
luminosity waning, body gangly
up steps a pilgrim of forest fame
with aim most true he hits his game
"Stop the choke there'll be no tie burn"
Sir Nigel of the Clough with great concern
"This henge could help our Gods eleven
mass save his soul, make fit for heaven"
saved from a Ketch up good and proper
by the squad of god, my what honour
rescued from an awful plight
could it be they see the light?
that shineth from gallows gait-ity
an glowing ring of deity?
could the dreaded melting behaviour
herald a new and gleaming saviour?
but first to work, to form, and lose
to make a mould that god could choose
and from the melting pot to last
no re light now the die is cast
then bathed within in an antonym -
of mythic pit, home of sin
the fire is tamed hurrah! rebirth
a face now full of love and mirth
thinking on events in t'nave
thanking dear Jesus for all he gave
shinning like an paladin
mighty weapon safe within.
remembering the spires of yore
gladness pouring to the fore
in Jesus was an loving aumbry
Gazing on gods house with love to see
the cherubim on high in apse
peaking at Madonna's flaps
seemed a sight to relish, mimic?
could one hope to be beatific
yet beating is forbid in hymn
to spill ones seed t'would be a syn
drome of the cindered path
the only cure an holy bath.
The bathings of Father Shankeley
spelt love and faith out frankeley
yet secrets lay behind this vicar
that may impinge 'pon, rebirth a flicker
and after kirk an lawn tea party
I'm 'fraid to say shoots grew not hearty
young flowers not yet even green
that's right a pre-vert kind of scene!
arms longer than the usual soul
with predilections of a troll
our father weren't in heaven till
angelic boys had drunk their fill
every night he picked a bunch
sometimes even one at lunch!
and if at break he'd failed to munch
he'd do some pruning work at brunch
what to be done with such a rouge
though does't seem green fingers are in vogue
throughout our lords quite brethren
though reasons for't I'll no ken
the new forged steel 'twas the solution
to rid the grass of this pollution
the fieriness 'twas't ever missed
shears and tears t'horticulturist
'Pon news of this harvest abomination
this befouling of good gods creation
the holy church of Santa claws
got down to pray upon all four
THE HOLY SEE'S DESIRE WILL BE
TO MEET THE POPE IN ROME THIS SATURDAY
TO SOLVE THIS CHURCHWIDE COMPLICATION
"did he leave pictorial compilation?"
Hearing of our knights great deeds
The pope, in Rome, thusly decrees
this weapon of the lord be a saint
and rid the cloth its greenest taint
But Hark a sound to strike fear thru men
the heavens roar the second coming
riding a ducati of brightest gold
our great lord Jesus, in tones that scold
"this my dears is that famous old clouty
sent down here to be wild and fruity
yet you have turned his lament, his evil claim
into a song that's void, of paean.
I shall require the freshest start
to bring to order, for each a part
the news of my second visitation
shall give earth great exaltation.
So imagine please the great affront
when Jesus added "I want to hunt
the salty steaming molten tofu -
the thicker the better. I like to chew
So get thy behind me Satan
it one hundred score that I've been a waitin
it was my darling Luke that got it right
now don't be rough I'll give no fight"
You've shafted me enough, good Christ
is it Sunday? you must be pised
I am not yet this day sixteen
and thus not ready for a ream
So what of our white knight of Rome
is't true "Do Good's deeds live on?
No, Evil's deeds do, O God."
Christ wins again the awful sod
---------======Doylum======---------
I would like to enter my poem into the
Tintagiles speed writting compamatition
It only took me 824 days 23 hours, 1
minute and twenty seven seconds to write.
Please tret it right its only young
Copyright 1969
==Doylum enterprises ltd
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Arithmetic Mean: 7.0
Weighted score: 5.2384057
Overall Rank: 4023
Posted: December 8, 2002 4:52 PM PST; Last modified: December 9, 2002 4:31 AM PST
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