poemranker ::lover rock by roses are read

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Free verse № 2406

lover rock

Member since 2002 · Posted 24 May 2002 · 2 comments

i am lover rock you play hard ball, warrior, stomp dancing like a moshing Native American, no grace, all grace? my heart is stopping like death, but you're involved. flicker firefly nerves singular glow (coming from the both of us) i can taste the stale freshness in the air ideas whirling around your spinning elbows perfection looming like a heavy gold medal jealousy might be lost, but who knows all i see now is pain.

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mean 3.58 weighted 3.96 rank 13380 views 189 View voting details →

12 votes so far. Yours would make 13.12 votes so far

2 comments

[6] horus8 17-Aug-02/9:35 AM Reply
it was great until the last line..pain? let's go for a hail mary and give them the "pain"

All i see now is propane, and let me tell you. it's a little overwhelming. if not down right predictable.............kale gun is loaded we have a target in sight, and are waiting for the signal...dice.hose.noun.grenade
[7] <~> 17-Aug-02/9:43 AM Reply
"but you're involved" this bit trips it up. last 2 lines need to be re-written. other than that, very tight.