poemranker ::Dead Poets' Society (Joke) by Yardbird

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Other № 23975

Dead Poets' Society (Joke)

Member since 2002 · Posted 6 Nov 2002 · 11 comments

BIG, BIG, BIG, BIG, NOTE - I AM WELL AWARE THIS IS NOT A POEM, SO DON'T SEND PISSY LITTLE COMMENTS ON WHETHER IT SHOULD BE ON THIS SITE OR NOT! I THOUGHT, SEEING AS WE'RE ALL POETS HERE, SOME OF YOU MIGHT FIND THIS JOKE AMUSING. A poet dies, but instead of just dying, or going to Heaven, Hell, Nirvana or what-have-you, he finds himself at a wine bar, with the words "Dead Poets' Society" on a sign above the door. He walks in, and sits down at a free space around a table. At the head of the table is Ted Hughes. HUGHES: Hello, friend! You're just in time for our competition. Complete a rhyming couplet on a given subject for a month's free drinks! POET: Ok, what's the subject? HUGHES: A man with bandy legs. POET: Alright, here goes: "As I was walking down the road, I met a man who's legs were bowed". Everyone is impressed, save for a dapper gent at the other end of the table. WORDSWORTH: Balderdash! That drivel is nothing compared to any of my efforts, for example: "One fine spring day, I saw a dandy, Who's legs were long and rather bandy". This draws applause from the rest of the poets, yet they suddenly stop - William Shakespeare has entered the room. HUGHES: Hey, Will! Fancy a stab at this weeks compo? 'The Shake' says nothing, sits down, and proceeds to win outright with his submission: "Lo - What form of man is this, Who's balls hang in parenthesis?"

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11 comments

[8] Frass 6-Nov-02/6:36 AM Reply
Yon Sir Yardbird, your deft wit is deliver-ed with panache and quick dispatch. Hurrah. No pissy little comments from me.
[n/a] Yardbird › Frass 6-Nov-02/6:46 AM Reply
Ta muchly, my good fellow! Oh, and for anyone else who reads this poem, don't take the 'pissy little comments' thing personally (except maybe -=Dark Angel=-, who really SHOULD...)
[7] Tintagiles › Yardbird 6-Nov-02/6:50 AM Reply
Pah. I permit myself pissy little comments on anything I want to, Sir Yarbird! 'Whose', not 'who's', for God's sake. PLEASE. Though Wordsworth's personality is quite well put.
[n/a] Yardbird › Tintagiles 6-Nov-02/7:22 AM Reply
Seeing as you are the Arch-pedant of Poemranker, I'll let you do pissy comments (if they're going to be made, at least have 'em done prop), as they're so beautifully written... (ahem!) Also, thanks for pointing out the typos, and for another person calling me SIR Yardbird - I've not been officially knighted, but it's in the pipeline(hmm, maybe it's time I updated my username, bwah, hah, hah...!)!
[8] Frass › Yardbird 6-Nov-02/8:36 AM Reply
I instantly like anyone named after the greatest Brit rock band, ever (I CHOOSE to see your user name this way). Evil hearted you, heart full of soul, smokestack lightnin', train kept a rollin'....
[n/a] Yardbird › Frass 7-Nov-02/2:40 AM Reply
It's a kind of double mark of respect, both to Clapton and crew (who I agree were the greatest Brit rock band, along with Phil Lynott with Thin Lizzy), and also to my personal idol, Charlie 'Bird' Parker, the bebop alto sax god. Glad you like it, mush! Oh, and out of interest, what does Frass mean?
[8] Frass › Yardbird 7-Nov-02/6:10 AM Reply
Frass means that wonderful fungus, lichen, in German. My band currently covers two Y'bird tunes: Heart full of soul, and Jeff's Boogie.
[9] Bachus 6-Nov-02/5:57 PM Reply
haha...fucking funny stuff. is it your?. or did you hear it? regardless, it's quite funnyf
[10] cleverdevice 7-Nov-02/6:08 AM Reply
HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHAAAAAAAAAAAAA! It rocks! Here is a philosophy poem. (The two are iinexplicably entwined)
Ever heard of the solipsism campaign for support?
[7] anitawit 11-Nov-02/12:33 PM Reply
Ha ha ha ha ...
[4] nentwined 4-Oct-06/6:07 PM Reply
who's <- whose!

cute joke, though. I think I've heard it?