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Untitled (Free verse) by vulcan The silent hesitation
Of duped eyes.
A pair of blue eyes
In the empty space.
The flute helpless without lambs
The grass wet.
We must all believe
By the old oak
The love-lorn shepherd lives.
Up the ladder:
A Christmas Far From
Down the ladder:
draft
Votes: (green: user, blue: anonymous)
Arithmetic Mean: 4.8333335
Posted: November 2, 2002 7:19 AM PST; Last modified: November 3, 2002 7:44 AM PSTWeighted score: 4.9551764 Overall Rank: 8700 Comments:
[n/a]
-=Dark_Angel=-, P.I. @ 131.111.212.215
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2-Nov-02/9:23 AM
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Reply
THIS TITLE IS EXTREMELY OVERUSED.
Gold of the underworld, do you mean "That the lovelorn shepherd lives"?
Make that God of the underworld
He is no God of the underworld. He's a deformed and ugly smith.
the fifth line deserves a nine by itself, i enjoyed this read, because, of not only the acorn, but the sense of pan. and loveless songs to the infinite.
these are disjointed images splattered about, with a hint cohesiveness to them. but not enough, and not pleasantly so. finish the thought. weave it together.
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